MyNews24 is a user-generated section of The stories here come from users.

Comments: 15
Article views: 1236
Latest Badges:

View all Irukandji's badges.

Buying a showerhead isn’t easy!

28 October 2012, 14:51

Wait! Before all you Showerhead suppottas grab hold of your pangas, knobkieries, stolen SAPS 9mm Berettas, spears, and other traditional weapons. I’m not saying that it’s difficult to bribe the President – it’s not. And I’m not saying it. At all.

Maybe I should first explain what I’m talking about.

That little thingy in the cubicle of your bathroom – with the tiny nozzles – where the water comes out onto the top of your head, is called a “shower rose” – although it is not a flower and has no fragrance. Unless you live in Sannieshof. There, it has a rotten smell, with traces of algae growing from it.

At home, we used to call the shower rose a “showerhead.” But that was before this name was bestowed, in a derogatory manner, upon the King of Nkandla. I will never allow a Showerhead into my house. Ever. So, for a while, our showerhead had no name – until it broke, and fell on my shoulder while I was taking a shower. Then I gave it a name.

“Bliksem,” I called it, and picked up the pieces from the shower’s floor – while trying to steady my rapidly beating heart.

Bliksem was no ordinary piece of sprinkler mechanism. It was a modern marvel of hydro-engineering: six-speed, pulse action, multi-vibrate, rubber holes, rough and fine settings, with a little control lever on the side. (Sounds disgusting, doesn’t it, Dominee?)

Unfortunately, Bliksem (who I suspect was related to Humpty Dumpty), could not be reassembled by someone with my meagre technical skills. The shower floor was covered with old Bliksem’s innards – springs, nozzles, washers, O-rings, self-tapping screws, vanes, percolators, various mysterious doohickeys, and other unmentionable stuff.

So off I went to buy Bliksem’s replacement – at a shop called *Amper Alles.

On Monday, I brought Bliksem’s replacement home, and screwed it in the shower. What a piece of rubbish! Made in China, nogal. With me screwing it! Instead of squirting out the nozzles, the water leaked out through the sides of the “rose”, leaving the showeree completely dry. I called the replacement Leaking Rose.

I took Leaking Rose back to Amper Alles. This was when the fun really started.

The salesman of Amper Alles told the manager of Amper Alles that I wanted to end my relationship with Rose. The manager, in trying to impress me, entered into some serious indigenous dialogue with the poor sales guy. After listening to the conversation between them for quite some time, I asked the manager what the problem was.

The arrogant bastard didn’t even look at me, but simply said: “I’m talking to him,” indicating the Amper Alles salesman.

Well, I never! **I plukked my gat into such a krul!

To cut a long story short: I bought another shower rose – quite a bit more expensive than Leaking Rose, and left the building.

My new shower rose is called Dripping Pizza – it never stops dripping and is about the size of a large family-size pizza. It has none of Bliksem’s erotic mechanisms, and, if it should ever fall on someone it will be with fatal results.

But one thing is for sure: I shall NEVER again go shopping at Amper Alles – even if the manager gets his customer relations jacked up, and they change their name to “Alles.”

*Amper Alles – Almost Everything

**I plukked my gat into such a krul – I got a little annoyed

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received. publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
Comments have been closed for this article.

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
No.You're a handbag
Not All Muslims Are Terrorists

In the wake of several attacks around the world claimed by ISIS, Boko Haram and a variety of Al Qaeda affiliates, there's been a backlash against Muslims, and it's not fair.  Read more...

0 comments 1308 views
Submitted by
Bobby Shabangu
The Plight of Poverty in Zimbabwe

I'm looking at this photo that's trending on social media, of two Zimbabwean women who work at a butchery, and have been caught with stolen meat hidden on their bodies... Read more...

0 comments 500 views
Submitted by
Trudy Mhluli
Forgetting your roots Commissione...

Members of the Department of Correctional Services have for years been burdened with the fact that it’s National Commissioner that was serving the department lacked experienced and understanding of the circumstances under which its members are supposed to be performing at optimum levels with loyalty and dedication being appointed from outside of its own ranks. Read more...

0 comments 111 views
Submitted by
David Hill608
Terrorism is a consequence of the...

Terrorism is a consequence of the different types of environments that people are born into in the main and not until the root causes of terrorism are addressed in practical terms, the growth in terrorism will continue. Read more...

0 comments 62 views
State and institutions of higher ...

The debate around institutional autonomy and academic freedom is not new in the circles of students’ movement, university managers such as Vice – Chancellors and by the government through the Ministry of Higher Education.  Read more...

0 comments 82 views
Submitted by
Owen Simons
Kicking dust in the face of the P...

I would like to think of myself as a reasonable, and reasoned person.That is when my basic sense of what is right or wrong is not offended. Read more...

0 comments 836 views


E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on Android Get the latest from News24 on your Android device.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

TV Get us in your home, on your television.

Interactive Advertising Bureau
© 2015 All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.


Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.

Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire network.


Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.

Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.