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Cheating ........

30 July 2013, 17:42
So you plan on cheating, or your already cheating and your worried about getting caught. Maybe part of the lure is that fact that you could get caught. After all the naughty, and taboo nature of cheating can be tantalizing but, do you really want to get caught? I didn't think so. There are some measures that you can take to insure that your secret stays a secret.

1) Who are they? Make sure that you keep a distance between your new lover, and yourself. Do not cheat with someone you know, or work with. Instead find a stranger that you can successfully lie to. Personal ads, clubs, and even shopping centers are great ways to meet strangers.

2) Your name is? Never let the other person know your full name. Lets face it, some people are obsessive, and vindictive. You can use your first name if you want, but make up a last name if they ask. Keep up with your new name, be careful not to contradict yourself.

3) Where do you work? I don't care what you do, don't tell them where you work. Your don't need them showing up at your job, because everyone you work with will know. The less people who know your secret, the better off you are. Lets say you have a "sexy" job, that you can use in your favor, such as a bouncer. If you want to tell them in order to improve your chances fine, but make sure you keep it bleak. Don't tell them the company name, or department. Instead stick with the city.

4) Can I call u? Buy a disposable pay as you go, no contacts cell phone (no RICA). You want to make sure there is no records of incoming or outgoing calls to unidentified numbers. And do not pay for this phone with a credit or debit card! Use cash only.

5) Who buys what? No matter what you buy, pay cash. You do not want your credit card statement to show certain charges, especially hotel rooms. Call the hotel ahead, and make arrangements to pay in cash. You can use the excuse that interest rates are killing you, if you're embarrassed. Better yet, if you can have them put the room in their name, and you can pay them in cash, or split the bill.

6) What did I buy? Some of us have a habit of keeping receipts. Drop the habit now, or pay the price. You don't want things like wine, hotel rooms, flowers, on a receipt lying in your pants pocket. Trash them when you leave the store.

7) What's that? Make rules and stick to them. Make sure that you don't come home with bruises, love bite marks, scratch marks, lipstick traces or God forbid a hickey. If you didn't leave with it, don't come home with it.

8) Where have you been? Make sure you have the time to cheat. Do not do something foolish like call in sick to work. Instead make the time, for example: start taking a karate class twice a week, but tell everyone it's three times a week. Or join a gym. Just make sure that it's not some place super close to home where they can check to see if you are really there. And do not stay gone for over two hours at anytime, unless your pulling a seminar, or overnight stunt. Keep in mind if your lover knows people you work with, the topic of the training seminar might come up. And that never works out well for the cheater. Also never leave after you take a phone call. Everyone knows what a booty call is, so don't fall into that trap.

9) I have what? Protection, protection, protection, I can't say it enough. You don't want to bring something home, so protect yourself. The male should always have a condom on, and additionally ladies should be taking some form of birth control. You don't want a baby to be conceived this way, and you don't want to take a disease home (and no, showers do not help!).

10) What are you sorry for? Don't confess everything because you had one too many drinks. If your going to do it, then do it. But, be sure that you're able to take it to your grave. Show your loved one you love them even if you are a good for nothing cheater. Buy them roses, draw their bath, make them think they are special. It sounds cold, and harsh but it's the life of a player.

Now that you know a few ways to help keep your secret safe you are on your way to being a decent cheater. Just remember to think things through each and every time. If you get cocky you'll not only let your guard down, but you will also get sloppy. Before I leave you, I have one more tip. Never do anything from your work computer (no e-mails). Make up a screen name and use a public computer, or buy a laptop (with cash) and keep it hidden. In that way nobody gets hurt, families/reputations/dignities stay intact. If all the above tips do not work, go to church!

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