A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."
"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"
St. Peter responded, "That's Archbishop Emeritus Desmond Tutu’s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that he told only two lies in his entire life."
"Where's President Jacob Zuma’s clock?" asked the man.
“President Jacob Zuma’s clock is in Jesus's office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."