PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Irukandji
 
Comments: 4
Article views: 6
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all Irukandji's badges.
 

Come celebrate Earth Day with us

12 April 2012, 14:23

Everybody is claiming their human rights – atheists, Christians, Muslims, Trolls, Pagans, Witches, Warlocks, Transvestites, Racists, Gays, Youth League presidents, as well as a plethora of other worthless anuses and irritating rectums.

The diverse nature of the people in this country – as can be seen from the contrasting posts on News24 – is reminiscent of a scene from one of the Star War movies (Prequel to the Sequel viii, The Revenge of the Revenge). In the story below, I have pointed out the similarities in brackets.

One particular scene takes place in a bar called Mos Eisley Cantina (a shebeen); located in a pirate city (Soweto), on a distant planet, Tatooine (South Africa). It is the haunt of freight pilots (taxi drivers) and other dangerous characters of various alien races (Zimbabweans, ANC politicians, Nigerians, Afrikaners, Mozambicans, Chinese, and SAPS members).

The establishment inside the bar is extremely rough in nature; but clientele (voters) and the management (ANC government) give incidents of deadly violence no more than a moment’s attention. Droids (honest citizens) are not allowed inside the bar; a droid detector (our judicial system) near the front door alerts the management of any droid about to enter.

The creatures in the bar come in all forms and sizes; but all seem to have one thing in common – the intention of getting atrociously drunk (self-aggrandisement). Anyone, who tries to prevent these creatures from getting their way, runs the risk of being called a racist, homophobe, witch burner, or atheist hater. The creatures are quick to point out that they are under the protection of Obi-Wan Kenobi. (The South African Constitution.)

On the stage in the bar, a small band is singing some ever popular Star War songs in an alien language: “Himmnklo dsa Gtrujkl” and “Fykolp qvew Zasderf.” (“de la Rey” and “Kill the Boer.”)

Meanwhile, in a dark corner of the bar, Darth Vader (yep, you guessed it, old Showerhead himself), has finally revealed that he is the father of both Luke Skywalker (Malema) and Princess Leia Organa (Helen Zille). (As well as about three dozen other children, at the last count. But that is not important right now.)

Darth Vader is deeply embarrassed for having “Vadered” a white girl (Zille) – even after taking the traditional shower to prevent this catastrophe from happening.

But there is still hope in the galaxy! On 22 April we will be celebrating Earth Day!

More than a billion (in Rand, that’s almost as much as the ANC wastes on parties and booze every day) people around the globe will participate in Earth Day 2012 – and help Mobilize the Earth. People from all nationalities and backgrounds (colonialists and struggling heroes) will voice their appreciation for the planet and demand its protection. Together we will stand united (just like the aliens in the Mos Eisley Cantina) for a sustainable future and call on all individuals, organisations, and governments to do their part.

And if our demands are not met, we will burn tyres, loot shops, trash the streets, and stone the cops – the usual democratic stuff that we aliens normally do.

May the Force be with you. You are going to need it!

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
4 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Victor
SARS and local municipalities it ...

SARS and local municipalities it is now time to tax Churches. Read more...

28 comments 744 views
Submitted by
Response: Traditional initiation ...

As a proud citizen of the Western Cape, born and raised on the outskirts of Cape Town, I do not see the need to undergo initiation to become a man. Read more...

0 comments 141 views
Submitted by
Shaun Engel
Comedy on long

Ever wanted to be a comedian? Be on stage and make people laugh…well these guys do it for a living – If laughter is the best medicine after tonight I’m sorted for winter…flu for whaaaaat o_O Read more...

1 comments 22 views
Submitted by
Jaco Prinsloo
Everything converges in September...

There seems to be anticipation around the world that something big is going to happen in September this year. Read more...

11 comments 84 views
Submitted by
Jacques de Villiers
Initiation school on Table Mounta...

That sounds like a really wonderful idea. Even though the Xhosas were never traditionally in the Western Cape, the reality is that many of them are now and will forever be an integral part of it. Read more...

5 comments 744 views
Submitted by
Digital Soigneurs
5 Things to Consider about your L...

Dont assume that your current Linkedin Profile Picture is great...that ID looking pic is average at most...nothing to be proud about.. Read more...

0 comments 508 views
 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on Android Get the latest from News24 on your Android device.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

TV Get us in your home, on your television.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2015 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.




Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.