PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Irukandji
 
Comments: 6
Article views: 700
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all Irukandji's badges.
 

Commentary, anyone?

14 April 2013, 18:09

Does anyone ever listen, I mean – really LISTEN – to what spokespersons, officials, and politicians say? You should: sometimes they can be extremely funny!

The remarks made by people who are interviewed on radio, or by reporters, often show how unqualified some of them are when asked to comment on a certain subject. In most cases it also shows the inability of the reporter to get the factual story. 

Just for fun, I’ve put some gobbledygook spin on the stories below. Don’t ask why names have been changed:

Cape Town - A man has been arrested in connection with a drive-by.

“Through an intelligence driven operation and our long-term strategic plan, the police allegedly arrested a 17-year-old suspect last night,” said Lieutenant Colonel Phineas Binga-Bonga.

“The man was arrested while walking to his home. He is being held in a stable at the back of the hospital,” was all Binga-Bonga would say without his lawyer.

Johannesburg - A 16-year-old man, angered by his girlfriend, was caught driving at 244km/h on the N1 near the Merely Grass toll plaza.

He told officers that he was angry at his girlfriend who put her foot down on the accelerator.

"The girlfriend was next to him in the black BMW M3," said Chief Spokesperson Superintendent Banana Wanaga. “Because the car is black, a docket for racism was not opened. We let him off with a stern bribe.”

Wanaga also said that six taxi drivers, of the Kwaai-Ngwanase Taxi Owners Association of South Africa (KNTOAOSA), were arrested for driving at more than 160km/h in a 60km/h zone.

“They were all driving the taxi at the same time. Luckily, they only had 43 passengers on board,” he said. “They will be prosecuted to the full extent of the long arms of their lawyers. They might even appear in cot.”

Durban - Police are searching for a gang of armed robbers who stormed into a supermarket on Saturday.

Police CEO Spokesperson, Brigadier General Justice Governor Gupta Naidoo, said no shots were fired and an undisclosed amount of airtime was taken.

“No shots were fired and an undisclosed amount of airtime was taken, and all and all,” he said, officially.

Pretoria - A 70-year-old man had the shock of his life in his home in Mamelodi, Gauteng police said on Monday.

Police believe five white suspects broke into the family's home early on Saturday morning.

They escaped with a bottle opener.

“No stone shall be left unturned,” said 64-year-old Constable Koos van der Merwe, “That bottle opener is bound to be somewhere.”

Police are looking for five white suspects who have been seen running around with an unopened bottle of wine. The 70-year-old man is still in shock.

“I’ve never had five whites in my house before,” he said.

As always, no arrests were made.

But enough of crime, how about this:

Johannesburg – “South Africa needs strong weemen leedas to voice thee drive for genda equality and mattas affecting weemen,” African National Congress Women’s League Leader Angie Motshekga said on Saturday (ANCWLAMSOS).

“It is impottant for thee sake of thee weemen of thee proveence and country and univars and thee galaxy who need a strong empowad reprasentateev, dreeven by unity in our diverseety, to champion thee cos of thee struggool for genda equality and weemen’s constipation, particularly affecting thee setting of a weemen’s voice to influence agendas to sustain thee strategic positioning of weemen’s tissues for economic transformation and development of thee pee pull.” Or something like that.

Johannesburg - A handful of domestic workers demonstrated outside the Department of Labour on Saturday calling for better working conditions, the SABC reported.

The group, which is affiliated to the South African Domestic Services and Allied Workers’ Union of Demands, Complaints, and Gripes (SADSAAWUODCAG), was demanding improved living conditions, sexual harassment, and rape of domestic workers.

Demonstrators were carrying placards which read: “Domestic wekkas are wekkas too, sir (DWAWTS).”

To me, the domestic workers make more sense than any of the others – even though they cannot spell “TWATS.”

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
6 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Aurangzeb Thabethe
EFF and its tactics

The events inside the parliamentary corridors weeks ago must worry all of us.  Read more...

17 comments 644 views
Submitted by
Abioye Olufemi
The absolute way to take Christma...

As Christmas is coming soon, I am prompted to write this Christmas article for all of us here at News24. Read more...

3 comments 163 views
Submitted by
goldeelocks
Phiyega.....SAY WHAT?????

Clearly the Honourable Minister has abrogated the duty of the SAPS to protect the citizens of this country! What then is the purpose of the SAPS?  Read more...

9 comments 374 views
Submitted by
Paulus
Genealogy of Jesus, and the probl...

The new testament writers were so kind as to leave 2 genealogies of Jesus for us to peruse, both of his father. Read more...

89 comments 678 views
Submitted by
Lee Grandmaison
Everyone is entitled to their own...

"Everyone is entitled to their own opinion." If you've ever seen or been in a debate, on or offline, you've heard this phrase quite a bit. Read more...

47 comments 379 views
Submitted by
johan609
South Africa heading South

We need to speak up. We need to take a stand. We need to take action. Read more...

17 comments 1623 views

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Magical Massinga

Spend 5 nights at the gorgeous Massinga Beach Lodge in Mozambique and only pay for 4 from R13 220 per person sharing. Includes return flights, accommodation, transfers and romantic turndown. Book now!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

Pre-order your iPhone 6 at kalahari.com

Hurry and pre-order your own iPhone 6 now at SA’s favourite online store!

Bargain box – 60% off

Reduced prices, very limited stock. While stocks last. Hurry and shop now!

Mind blow low prices on electronics

Get either the Prestigio multiphone or Proline tablet 7” tablet for only R699. Offers valid while stocks last. Shop now!

30% off Barbie toys

Save 30% on all Barbie toys and accessories. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

Baby extravanganza month at kalahari.com

Celebrate baby month with a wide range of awesome baby products. Offers valid while stocks last. Shop now.

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

Samsung Galaxy s4

Mobile, Cell Phones in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 24

Best bargain in big bay

Real Estate, Houses - Apartments for Sale in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

VW Golf 6, 1.6 Trendline (Excellent condition)

Vehicles, Cars in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2014 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.








Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.