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Modiba Kadi
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Concealing a child's real identity

07 July 2014, 07:48


When a child is born, he/ she is a direct product and an end result of the effort of two people, his or her parents. The parents therefore have to be proud of the child they deliberately brought into this world and beyond that, they also have to take responsibility in bringing up their pride, a gift from God. They must adequately provide the essential to see their offspring on the road of life. In every case, whether the parents are together in any type of marriage or even if they are living apart, the child will still be theirs, both. The child must be allowed to inherit the real identity of his parenthood as he is not a catalyst that threw his biological parents apart.

There are many cases where the child doesn’t know who his father is and uses his mother’s surname without his approval. It is neither his problem that their parents don’t see eye to eye. Concealing his real himself/ herself, who his mother or father is, is also not a solution to a problem. But giving him a name that has nothing to do with him as a person does not expunge anything but can only yield problems to him in future. All what he carries in his genes is indelible and need to be displayed ostentatiously, and that is what he/she is and should therefore not be hidden behind the strange names of the steps, i.e. mother/ father. This is reality which cannot be bent to obey anyone. The relationship between the child and the steps is absolutely nothing, zero. It is like the one between the teacher and the pupil. When my mother marries my stepfather, he does not marry me, we are merely staying together because I would be a minor by then and therefore need my mother, not him. How will his/ her feeling be like when one day in his life he/ she discovers out that the person he/ she has been seeing is the father and so many things had transpired between the two? The same goes to if he/ she suddenly finds out that the person he/ she is in love relationship with and for quite some time is actually related to him/ her? It can be any sort of relationship, a friend at school, intimate one etc. Then who will he/ she have to blame for that? Remember the Greek Oidipous, who unknowingly married his mother. Refer to Oedipus complex, we therefore need proactive measures to eradicate all these things before they start, in fact, these will be preventative actions.

If we do things right we cannot be walking in the bushes, hiding what is real and that which needs to be known. We sometime need to set the record straight especially if it is useful in a way or another. If a woman has five children from different men, then they must take different surnames and tell the world what type of a mother she is, running after all men and make kids for them. This will even discourage other women and her kids and yours to emulate her wrong idiosyncrasies. She is actually a good and important example of infidelity and it is specific reference to the public to take note of as it is a story to tell and also need to be used as a guide line. Give the children what is theirs, all what is lawfully belonging to them and don’t mislead them for your personal gains!!! If a kid is a product of rape, he/ she needs to be told that his/ her existence has relationship with crime. He/ she symbolises violence though he/she did not take part in that violence.

By: Modiba Kadi

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