PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
SterLINK_Archer
 
Comments: 8
Article views: 469
 
 
Latest Badges:


 
View all SterLINK_Archer's badges.
 

Conspiracy theories

18 July 2014, 19:15
Conspiracy Theorist; derived from the English word "Conspiracy" and the Klingon word "theorist" (pronounced "Conspiracy Theorist") is a word termed for people who are conspiracy theorist. See how I said a whole lot without saying anything at all? A conspiracy is the result of a 90's car key party between Obama and JFK. Be it America pretending to land on the moon or the theory that Nelson Mandela is a alive and well and sailing down Blue Bayou with Linda Ronstadt .

Conspiracy theories first began when Stone Tablet Publishers (pty. ltd) published the Wholly bile or Bible back in 6000BC and since then there have been over 6.2million theories of which only 250'000 where actually theorized. This has now come to an alarming global cost of $4,2billion USD to governments who are now conspiring to eradicate all known conspiracy theories.

After 3rd and 4th World War back when British Leyland and Thatcher declared war on Argentina and Lionel Messi's youth football coach, conspiracy theories where outlawed by MacDonalds Corp after it was theorised that there might not even be food in their food. Such an extreme claim caused Ronald to appear in the Guateng Magistrate court over 6 times. Ultimately his charges were, as in all GMC rulings, dropped yet the resulting legal expenses caused the entire corporation to resort to cheap labour. Again.

Such a travesty against a beloved clown character was deemed unacceptable and the law against all conspiracy theories was passed in every country in every continent from Earth to Saturn. (since Neptune would have none of it)

There is however one country exempt from this law (and seemingly any other) because it is too far to walk there, and that country is Zimbabwe. The law states that "Mugabians", or the one singular person who lives in that country, may conspire to conspire against any governments and corporations that are white owned, especially MacDonalds. This law is set to be abolished so that the Mugabian people cannot be a law unto themselves.

Since the 1950's there have been a great number of anti-conspiracy theorist organisations but none as well known as the Federation Against Conspiracies In American Lands or FACIAL. This federation was designed specifically for the direct and indiscreet use of the US President. It was not until September 11 2001 that the first FACIAL movement was organised. G.W.Bush was thus known as the first US president to legally use the FACIAL.

However this resulted in the creation of new organisations that where in direct opposition to FACIAL, the largest is the Conspiracies Union Movement Seeking Hidden and Omitted Truths or CUMSHOT. The CUMSHOT was the result of the FACIAL enacted by Bush in 2001 and was carried out by Brazilians who worked for 7UP in Germany (An alarmingly specific yet depressed group of people). 

The sole purpose of their movement was to push forward Pro-conspiracy theorist theories and down play facts. It was later revealed that this union was directly behind the burning of The Reichstag Building in 2002 after it was conspired that possible genetic clones of Adolf Hitler were being developed in, you guessed it, Brazil.

Since their formations, these two organisations have been tearing at each other's throats. The FACIAL blamed The CUMSHOT for conspiring and the CUMSHOT blamed the FACIAL for not conspiring enough. The high amount of head butting was subsequently cataloged by His Honorable Lord Viscount and Sir knight of the Realm Richard Dawkins in his popular fantasy book The Da Vinci Delusion.

Because his book raised so many questions about the need for such organisations, a new law was passed which outlawed any organisations that had anything to do with any conspiracy what so ever. George Bush was sentenced to a 1000 years in Guantanamo Bay for crimes against humanity and HHLVSKR Richard Dawkins was personally assassinated by Jesus Christ shortly after.

It can be publicly stated that no such conspiracy theory has ever been proven to be true. However, they have never been proven to be false because that's what THEY want you to believe.
Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

 

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
8 comments
Comments have been closed for this article.

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Phillip Strydom
Where the whites are when the DA ...

We hope that the ones that benefit from our money and efforts who see it being stolen misused and wasted, that they will act. Read more...

0 comments 1486 views
Submitted by
Victor Jambase
How the SACP party destroyed Chri...

The SACP paid Chris Hani's legacy the ultimate insult by refusing to purchase the internet domain names that could have been used to protect and secure his online legacy. Read more...

0 comments 134 views
Submitted by
Andre Andy Huisamen
From the stands: Moving to Cape T...

My days at Newlands and specifically seats 0099 and 0100 in row D of Block C on the Grandstand level 2 has been nothing but special, but this game was the perfect way to finish it off.  Read more...

0 comments 152 views
Submitted by
Peter Stenslunde
Cape Town water department cash c...

Who are these people that owe so much, who pays for this and why are they not being hauled before the courts like residents are when they don't pay their rates bills? Read more...

0 comments 150 views
Submitted by
Sibulele Lurewana
MY STORY: Cancer can be cured

Women are synonymous with strength, but finding out you have cancer when you’re in your 20s can dampen the spirit of any formidable woman. Read more...

0 comments 969 views
Submitted by
Jenny Hides
The SPCA responds too hastily

I was appalled to learn that the pets belonging to a single tenant of our retirement complex were recently removed by the SPCA as a result of a complaint of barking!  Read more...

0 comments 1220 views
 

services

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on Android Get the latest from News24 on your Android device.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2017 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.




Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.