PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Guy M Artist
 
Comments: 66
Article views: 1283
 
 
Latest Badges:


 
View all Guy M Artist's badges.
 

Converting to Atheism

06 November 2013, 15:30
Last night as I was perusing a few forums, I came upon a bloke that sincerely wanted to know what to do to become an Atheist, and I suddenly realised Atheism's big failure is that there are no processes, no rituals and no method for determining if you are a TRUE ATHEIST. I decided to set this right.
Adam "liar for Jesus"  also accused me of being part of a clan determined to destroy God, I decided to own up and confess my sins. I also received a personal email by another anguished about my poor choices. I want to set this right too.
There is no specific ritual for becoming an atheist but the following a sure signs that you are heading for eternal damnation.
1. You start by asking questions like, What proof is there of this God's existance.2. You start worrying because God doesn't answer your prayers even if you go down on your knees or stand on your head when praying.3. You get a craving for the flesh of infants.4. You start seeing women as equals5. You start finding contradictions in the ineffable word of God. 
If you have these symptoms, to enter the clan you need to find your local church, Be there at exactly 2 minutes to midnight, no earlier no later, you may want to do a practice run just to set up the timing perfectly. 
Once you arrive, disrobe and run around the church three times clock wise, repeat this twice in the opposite direction (that means six times for those that cannot count. 
Spend the next twenty three minutes and thirty three seconds meditating in a pose where your legs are in the sky and your hand on the ground, do not let your head touch, and especially not your bottom or your belly button.
Proclaim "There is no God" in your best creator voice twenty two times. If you have completed this by 3 minutes after midnight you are in the club. 
or you can just be like the rest of us, pull back on your shoulders really hard until your head clears the confining space and see the light. 
No seriously, If you don't believe that any God's other than your own exist, and add your God to that list of 3000 odd Gods that you know are myths, you are an atheist.
You don't have to become a Scientist, You don't even have to understand Evolution because neither of those have anything to do with Atheism, Science is the study of many different concepts and things, with peer review and stuff. Atheists don't need to get that, All they have to do is not believe in Gods.
Atheist have many different reasons for not believing from The Bible just makes no sense to There is no proof of this God even just Beat It I don't care. 
Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

 

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
66 comments
Comments have been closed for this article.

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
John Petersen
Here are some cars SA Ministers a...

Wheels24 reader John Petersen has come up with 'cheaper' alternatives for South Africa's ministers and their deputies. Do you agree with his vehicle selections? Read more...

0 comments 3752 views
Submitted by
Schalk Spies
White apartheid refugees

The untapped, currently wasted human potential of South Africa is enormous and is currently our biggest, wasted resource. Read more...

0 comments 5933 views
Submitted by
Anne Munro
SA's weird visa decision

In a “tit for tat”, South Africa decided that NZ citizens travelling to South Africa from 16th January 2017, now also require a visa. Read more...

0 comments 2547 views
Submitted by
Wimpie Greyvenstein
Liberals have blood on their hand...

It is time to get off the high horse, lay down the outrage and start carving out the middle ground required to realise those ideals of liberal democracy that we believe to be right. Read more...

0 comments 2601 views
Submitted by
James Livingstone
Yield, yield I say - how indicati...

Has anyone else noticed that many South African drivers have forgotten what the yield sign is for?  Read more...

0 comments 686 views
Submitted by
Judd Freeman
Loans, drones and seizing your ba...

We have a government and corporate environment that are completely corrupt, yet there is a ‘moral’ code asserted on the individuals who are left destitute by these so-called leaders. Read more...

0 comments 835 views
 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on Android Get the latest from News24 on your Android device.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

TV Get us in your home, on your television.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2017 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.




Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.