The term, ‘Gay Nazi’ might sound like an oxymoron, but it appears that most of the Nazi leadership was homosexual (often botching their own war cry with, ‘Heil Sphincter!’)
Now this isn’t a gloved-finger pointing exercise at gay people (God knows they suffered under Hitler), but we can’t help poking fun at the worlds most evil cretans and pose the question: Were the Nazis just one big S & M party gone horribly wrong? Could both World Wars have been avoided if Germany hadn’t suddenly experienced a shortage of lube and lederhosen?
Stay with us, please. This article has been well researched and if you think we are exaggerating (we are, but not a lot) consider that the history books seem to back us up.
While it is true that the Nazis persecuted thousands of gay people, they only chose the effeminate “femmes” to send to the camps, the “butch” ones ruled the roost. To cover up their little secret they took the stiff approach, clamping down hard on effeminate homo-sexual’s, but only to appear anti-gay.
The whole thing was all just mannequin-in-drag window dressing. Let’s examine a few of Nazi Germany’s top tier (make your own minds up--unfounded speculation and hearsay we’ll leave to the tabloids):
1. Ernst Röhm - Leader of SA Storm Troopers and a very close confident of Hitler. Wikipedia says of him, “Another hindrance was the homosexuality of Röhm and other SA leaders, such as his deputy Edmund ‘Dachshund’ Heines”. Röhm and Hitler were so close that they addressed each other as ‘du’ (the German familiar, ‘you’). Röhm was the only top Nazi that Hitler addressed as such. In turn, Röhm was the only Nazi who dared address Hitler as "Adolf," rather than "mein Bratwurst."
2. Adolf Hitler – A little-known fact is that Hitler himself was convicted of a homosexual act in WW1 and was also a failed artist in Australia. During his time in Australia he stayed in a men’s flophouse called the Meldemannstrasse Hostel; a known centre of male prostitution. In Germany’s National Vice, Samuel Igra wrote that as a young man Hitler “had been a male prostitute (strichjunge) in Vienna and Munich”. Samuel went on to suggest that this is how young Hitler supported himself financially during that period.
You’ve no doubt heard of the famous literary piece penned by the Führer himself - Mein Kampf? Unconfirmed sources tell us that Hitler threw a complete tantrum after his publishers refused to go with with its original title, “Mein Kampf mit Schwulers”, (“My Struggle in the Closet”).
It was not for nothing that the young Herr Führball painted nudes (all rejected) oddly named:
"Saugen meine bratwurst"
"Gehen und holen mich der strichjunge gekleidet in lederhosen"
- Hermann Goering – This strange man was notorious for dressing in drag, painting his nails and wearing rouge. Think we are joking? Google it.
Interestingly enough, Goering has his roots in Namibia, because his father had been the first Governor General of the German protectorate of South West Africa.
Considering that so many German’s fled to SWA after WW2, one wonders what hidden inclinations and/or flamboyant lifestyles the Nazis brought with them.
Did the Nazi’s inadvertently affect local Southern African politics?