PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Rammsteen
 
Comments: 26
Article views: 463
 
 
Latest Badges:


 
View all Rammsteen's badges.
 

Daddy Issues

21 January 2013, 09:14

I have been appointed (or deemed fit) to front up a family of six. Not in my wildest dreams was I ever going to have a family of this size, I fact, I would've waged my life’s earnings against it! Alas, I met my wife after a quick divorce with my ex, out of which the ex and I bore one child together.

I adopted her son from a previous encounter to make my total tally two. My current wife brought her two into the equation, and suddenly we had two of each sex specimens, ranging from six to twelve years old. Ironically, not one child shared the same father. While I’m trying to explain this in writing, I still get mystified, confused even; I mean, all I ever did up to the age of 29 was rock along life’s by-ways.

The upbringing of this mixed bunch was never going to be plain sailing and I learnt things I would have never even thought of; one of which, stood out like a flag on a battlefield.

The mother is usually the convener of the family. She’s the glue that sticks all together with love, advice, tenderness and food. I say food because it is such a major part of our life which we can share with people we love and enjoy. The mother is also usually more in-depth involved in the lives and emotional state of the children. This is not necessarily so in all families, but from what I have seen so far; the majority.

I have experienced first-hand what the father means to his children. I see the father basically as an example for girls and boys alike. The way he handles his wife, the way he treats his friends, colleagues, strangers and nature. Although today’s households are more of a democratic affair between husband and wife; to the kids, the father is still the model for the boys, and example of how women and children should be treated, for the girls. This is why I cannot fathom what men are thinking of when they disappoint a child’s expectations or trust.

Sure there are some women around who are sometimes even worse in that regard, but women (overall) tend to think twice about their off-spring before embarking on any slippery slope. I am merely speaking as a man in a family, so I don’t want to risk this becoming a psychological evaluation of family life. I’ll just get on with it.

My stepson’s father has been a non-present entity since he was born, up to the present day. Some holidays he would visit his father but get tended to by house help, girlfriends - and later - be on his own. During his teenage years, his father was drunk most of the time when my stepson visited, and also did the experimenting with alcohol no good. I have seen the man (if I push myself to recognise him as one) a grand total of 5 times during a span of 15 years. His parents had to see to it that my stepson received some monetary and health support, which really says it all.

My stepdaughter’s father is a smooth talker. He’s the kind of guy who saw that I took care of his daughter and decided to never contribute a cent toward her upbringing; much worse than that, he decided not to contribute in any way at all – while she still regarded him as her father. The best was that he still had the audacity to call her his “little princess”, on the few occasions she visited him. He organised to pick her up at my home once, when she was 9 years old. She chose the best dress and after half an hour waiting, decided to go and wait in the street. After one and a half hours, there was no father, not even a phone call. Man; that broke my heart. Here I was standing at the window and looking at a little girl, peering up and down in the street with tears in her eyes. Suffice to say it would have been his last day here, if he pitched.

My stepson subsequently had a brush with drug addiction and my stepdaughter still has major man trouble. I have felt guilty for not insisting on doing more on an emotional level and being a father figure - to step in where the other “fathers” bungled it, and I still do.

To me these years were such an eye opener of how much a father really contributes to the forming of children. All he has to do is to be sincere, loving, and dependable and, basically; be there. I was a youngster too, and I don’t think we, as young men, always grasp what huge responsibility it really is to guide a baby to become an adult. Unplanned pregnancies and divorces do happen, but that is never an excuse to run away from responsibility. Suffice to say that the likes of the above “fathers” contribute to a potential problematic adult pool of future generations.

Men have to be men.

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
26 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
The Last Contrarian
Mystery: Spontaneous Human Combus...

There are nights, indeed entire days, where I willingly become a candidate for spontaneous human combustion.  Read more...

3 comments 267 views
Submitted by
Tyronehster
The Greatest?

There are always debates about who the greatest batsman is, the greatest golfer, the greatest footballer and so on and I think, with one exception, that of Don Bradman, the jury will remain perpetually hung. Read more...

4 comments 69 views
Submitted by
MAVERICK
Why even the Constitutional Court...

On Monday the Con Court knocked back the application by the Africa Unite Party to challenge the IEC on the right to stand for public office, section 19. Read more...

12 comments 901 views
Submitted by
Celeste Maxime Lackay
Managers, Leaders and Politicians...

I have resigned from a job I really loved and held down with pride for 4 years.  Read more...

2 comments 932 views
Submitted by
czoe
The democratic right to vote

It seems that there are so many disgruntled members in the ANC, and some of them have resorted to negative stances, floor crossing and verbal insinuations are the order of the day.  Read more...

7 comments 378 views
Submitted by
Tyronehster
Death Walks Behind me

Nothing makes me so mad as seeing a broad being mistreated, and this one was being mistreated in the most brutal way.  Read more...

9 comments 314 views

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Escape winter, head to Mauritius

Escape winter by spending 7 nights in Mauritius' tropical bliss from R13 215 per person sharing. Includes return flights, airport transfers and accommodation. Book now!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

Get many eggs in one basket!

Gaming bundles: 2 Super Hits games for R99, 3 Disney games for R99 and more + exclusive accessory bundles only available on kalahari.com. While stocks last. Shop now!

25% off bestselling books!

The Real Meal Revolution by Tim Noakes, Jeffrey Archer’s Be Careful What You Wish for, Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor E. Frank and many more titles. Shop now!

Up to 25% off electronics

Buy top electronics and save up to 25%. Such as kalahari.com’s 1# selling product the gobii eReader, Patriot X Porter flash drive, Asus Nexus 7” 3G tablet, Samsung Galaxy SIII, Lenovo G580 Notebook and many more. Shop now!

DStv HD PVR Decoder now R949

The DStv HD PVR Decoder has further revolutionised the television experience with lifelike viewing, sharper images, more vibrant colours and precision picture quality. Now R949, save R550. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

Up to 30% off appliances & homeware

Save up to 30% on appliances and homeware this Easter! Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now.

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

Samsung Galaxy s4

Mobile, Cell Phones in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 24

Best bargain in big bay

Real Estate, Houses - Apartments for Sale in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

VW Golf 6, 1.6 Trendline (Excellent condition)

Vehicles, Cars in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Digital Media & Marketing Association
 
© 2014 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.








Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.