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Darwin's lost tribe

17 September 2012, 10:05

The very popular debate between creationists and Darwinets often rears its head on news 24 An article about potholes in Jo burg can lead to someone comparing it to the biblical road to Sodom and BOOM! Off comes the religious (or anti religious) gloves.

Being a firm supporter of the big man Darwin myself (here it comes,I warned you) I am very proud to announce the discovery of a new specie under our noses.This branch of the HOMO specie may even be the long sought missing link proving once and for all that we do descend from the great apes .

I name this specie AFRIKANUS DRAADSITUS which is a reference to it being perched on a wire about two metres off the ground from where it can sit and critisize the world around it,often cackling like a chicken .It's most annoying habbit is telling someone(normally a fellow DRAADSITUS ) a story and slapping itself on the shoulder

With the current political arena in turmoil and the ruling party rolling around in the dust trying to rid itself from a few ticks, the DRAADSITUS is very agitated and prone to cackling from the high wires.It is not yet determined what the gains from this cackling can be,but it may be some defence mechanism designed either to scare the danger away or it is a form of "" whistling in the dark"

Strangely the DRAADSITUS do not interact with other species except when purchasing brandy or the sunday newspaper .Even this is done at high speed as the perching habbit is genetically encoded and while reading the newspaper they have one eye on the horizon for some suspicious dust cloud.

Some DRAADSITUS have chosen to settle in foreign countries where they,believe it or not ,display exactly the same mannerism as back home.They perch on the top wire of a fence from where they survey this foreign world .Then they send messages to there relatives back home about there new found security and how they enjoy sleeping with there front doors unlocked.

But this may be just a front.When they close one eye at night to sleep, they dream of home and biltong and potholes and thieving politicians and they wake up to an empty space of nothingness, a world so organised that there is nothing to cackle about.But trusting this strange creature ,they soon create there own turmoil and there host countries are now getting used to a few feathers blowing down the road.Someone told me that the NG kerk in New Zeeland has has split up five times already ,a result of infighting and a battle for control of that very sought after Christian give away ,the Tenth.

AFRIKANUS DRAADSITUS is not limited to a certain language group.As cross pollination between rival groups has long since remove that old scar dating back to the Boere oorlog .Even some of the indigiouness tribes of Africa are now displaying DRAADSITUS behaviour although it is too early to say that a definate common behaviour pattern has evolved.They are commonly referred to as Coconuts

Talking about oorlog!Artifacts found along the borders of traditional DRAADSITUS territories indicate that ,when properly aroused and the very rare appearance of a true leader takes place,they can be transformed into fanatical warriors that will scare even the bravest jackall away.However . this occurance is very rare indeed and they have been leaderless for the last few decades.

Should a crisis develop and someone must be nominated as a leader it will probably be there current national rugby coach, a person they revere and hate ,depending on the scoreboard.There last elected leader was a humanitarian who promptly swopped them for a Noble Prize and used the proceeds for a holiday to the Greek Islands

The shock of these events has made DRAADSITUS apolitical and they regard all politicians with disgust and sceptism .Every now and again a wave of patriotism will blow over there barren patriotic landscape resulting in sing alongs to songs like De La Ray and Sarie Marais

Evolution is a strange process and detemines its own boundaries.This biological machine presses its own buttons and we can only have presumptions about the final destination for AFRIKANUS.They are currently scattered across the world where they excell in positions like doctors,engineers. artisans ,scientists,pastors and other financial institutions.They are also very good at sitting in the sun and cutting there toe nails.At night they sit around camp fires trying to count the stars.Inventions attributed to these hardy people are heart transplants,biltong,camp fires and brandy.

Sadly there is evidence that this may be the end of the evolutionary road for this strange specie .There lack of cohesion and there strange addiction to infighting have steered this verbose ,wire perching creature into an evolutionary deadend from where they will not recover unless they get off the fencing wire and stare the jackall in the eye.

Franky Smashcake

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