MyNews24 is a user-generated section of The stories here come from users.

The Real Harry Potter
Comments: 20
Article views: 0
Latest Badges:

View all The Real Harry Potter's badges.

Dating: Do it right next time!

24 October 2012, 21:34

Recently I have been thinking about why it is that people cannot get their heads around a commitment. The modern day trend is all about a thing that is totally incompatible with ongoing long-term relationships. The people that I have encountered lately have for the most part somehow gained this “knowledge” that they are better off on their own.

Well, this is obviously true when everyone has that attitude!

There is one word that has been almost universally worshipped of late. It is a word that somehow gained a reputation as being good, and positive; a word that encourages self-mindedness, even for those that are seemingly completely without any mind at all. The word I am referring to is “independence”.

Oh yes, the struggle! Everyone wants that independence. Was it a Hollywood movie that glamorized the concept? Or the countless TV sitcoms that promote the single life? It doesn’t really matter: it is a sad fact that more and more young people are avoiding getting attached to their (in)-significant others, using the excuse that “divorce is expensive” and “why buy the cow when you can drink the milk for free?”

What? Yes, read that last part again… we have been consumed by a loose form of immorality. People are actually living by these “philosophies”, and no, this is NOT a religious article (before our “intellectuals” start saying I’m pushing a faith concept again), although it does try and promote a fair amount of faith to be given: faith in yourself, and faith in your partner.

 It has been said that the reason the divorce rate is so high, and the reason people no longer grow old together, is that we live in an age where it is easier to replace things than repair them. Although I don’t completely dispute this view, I have concluded that we have just become an age of morons.

These days the difficult task of finding a partner that fits with your expectations is becoming near impossible unless you only have loose expectations, wanting nothing more than a month or two of fun. If you are looking for anything more then you have your work cut out for you, as can be read in some of my previous posts. Your own independence has likely ruined your chance of a life-long relationship without you even knowing it! It causes people to become selfish, abusive, un-trustworthy, and tardy. Men no longer have any manners because the women no longer have any self-respect, and so there is no need to try and impress: why waste time?

There is a concept that seems to have been lost along the way: interdependence. It is not entirely the opposite of the word “independence”, but where one plus one would equal two in a relationship of independent people, in an interdependent couple one plus one would equal (a stronger) one.

So how do we change our current trend toward independence and selfishness into an attitude of interdependence and sharing? I have to say that it is not easy. It involves coming to a point where your mindset shifts… maybe a realization that a specific person fits in with most of your ideals? However it happens, you need to lose the focus on your “options”, and give all of your attention to getting rid of those options. Stop living on “what if” exit clauses and live rather according to the “all or nothing” commitment that a skydiver uses when exiting the plane 5km above the Earth. That does not mean you need to be risky, but rather that you need to gauge the level of risk before taking the plunge. Be certain of your abilities and (to mix metaphors) keep your one eye on the goalposts and the other on the ball.

So how did the couples of yester-year manage to stay together ‘til death them did part? Yes it was because they knew they had to fix what broke, but more so the fact that they had every expectation of actually living until death them did part, quite unlike the average modern day couple.

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received. publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
Comments have been closed for this article.

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Hitting Thefan
State of the government/continent

It is unbelievable that we are withdrawing from the International Criminal Court ( ICC). Given our history that entailed the fight for our rights against a unjust government.  Read more...

0 comments 243 views
Submitted by
No Ohno
Wayne Rooney salary vs SA rugby s...

Sometimes I have to wonder if British soccer has gone mad when I look at their players salaries. Read more...

0 comments 1975 views
Submitted by
Gregory Dinwoodie
Government debt in person perspec...

A government debt mountain of R 2 trillion, divided by a population of 55 million odd, gives a per capita debt for each living person in South Africa of R 36 000 (+).  Read more...

0 comments 196 views
Submitted by
My first ...... Innovation Festiv...

The third instance of the FNB CodeFest saw some great innovation and provided a view of what can happen when people come together to solve problems and to dream. Read more...

0 comments 71 views
Submitted by
Thomas Urs Jordi
Yes, They Really Are Mine!

I was met with blank faces who couldn’t quite get their head around how they could live more simply and in the process allow others to live. Read more...

0 comments 1108 views
Submitted by
A captured Public Protector?

The new public protector has very clearly already nailed her colours to the wall, and the signs are there that Zuma was right in pressing for the report on state capture to be handed over from Madonsela to Mkhwebane.  Read more...

0 comments 327 views


E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on Android Get the latest from News24 on your Android device.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

TV Get us in your home, on your television.

Interactive Advertising Bureau
© 2016 All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.


Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.

Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire network.


Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.

Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.