PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Irukandji
 
Comments: 7
Article views: 762
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all Irukandji's badges.
 

Dead Sea Scrolls explained

25 July 2014, 14:56

We have become so entangled with the inscrutabilities surrounding Nkandla, e-tolls, the arms deal, and how Julius manages to keep his red overalls sparkling clean, that we’ve forgotten about a much more interesting mystery: The Dead Sea Scrolls (DSS).

So gather ‘round people wherever you roam, and admit that the waters around you have grown pay attention in class – we’re going to debunk some closely guarded secrets here today.

Firstly, some background on the DSS.

The Dead Sea Scrolls consists of a collection of texts, or Sea Message Scrolls (SMS’s), as they were also known, found inside caves near the northwest shore of the Dead Sea. Of course, in those days, it wasn’t called the “Dead Sea.” Locals simply referred to it as the “Terminally Ill Sea” – critical, but in a stable condition.

These manuscripts, written by Essenes, Priests, Zadokites, and Jews, have been dated between 408 BC and 318 AD. The texts were written in five ancient languages: Greek, Aramaic, Hebrew, Shebrew, and Gaybrew.

Bronze coins found on the site form a series; beginning with Yohanan Hyrcanus (135-104 BC) to Johan Anthoniszoon van Riebeeck (1619-1677 AD). On a wall of one of the caves, Egyptologists discovered an ancient hieroglyph which reads: Killroy was here – 2348 BC – just after a season of fairly mild rains.

(But that’s not important right now, Sakkie.)

What is important is the reason why the DSS’s were written in the first place, and what stories they contained.

Keep in mind that this was before the Internet (BTI). People living in those days would write on all types of different materials – papyrus, sheets of bronze, dried sheets of camel sheet, animal hides, vellum (the dried skin of slain enemies), toilet paper, and even on the insides of their hands – whatever was handy at the time of writing a new SMS.

Some of the writers of these scrolls would write politically correct articles. Writers, the likes of Godless Heathen, Keita, and Jeremy Thorpe, were extremely popular. While others, like the unforgettable ZION, The Last Contrarian, and Tyronehster, were ridiculed for writing what they believed in.

In those days, they had the equivalent of News24, it was called *NorthEastWestSouth86400-BTI. (This has only lately been abbreviated to NEWS24.)

Now we come to something really interesting. In the heyday of NorthEastWestSouth86400-BTI, the readers could only comment on articles by writing their comments down on whatever they had handy, i.e. papyrus, sheets of bronze, dried sheets of camel sheet, animal hides, vellum, toilet paper, and even on the insides of their hands.

They would then send their comments (by runners with forked sticks) to the caves of the editor of NorthEastWestSouth86400-BTI, to be glued to the back of the original article.

The editor would read the articles and comments, and if he found it to be suitable for consumption by the general public, he would paste it on the walls outside of the caves where NorthEastWestSouth86400-BTI had their offices.

But as always, there were the pissies and sissies who had very thin skins. If they read an article, or comment, which they didn’t like, they would scream: “Racist!” or, “Bigot!” at the top of their voices.

The editor would have no choice – he would take down the offending article or comment, stick it into a clay jar, and store the jar deep in one of the caves – never to be seen again.

(Nowadays this process is much simpler: A pissy or sissy would simply click on the “Report comment” button and before you can say: “EFF you!” one of three things will happen: The comment would be deleted; the whole article would disappear; or the writer and his/her article would be banned – into the fabled Tar Pits of Crashamanka.)

But back to the Scrolls:

Inside one of the clay pots found in the caves, researchers came upon an article written by one of the contributors to NorthEastWestSouth86400-BTI. The writer called his story: “Why so Loud?”

In it, he questioned why the local Nubians always talked so loudly in public – especially in the caves where sick and dying people were trying to be sick and die in peace.

After hundreds of Essenes, Priests, Zadokites, and Jews, have read the article and made various comments, a pissy or sissy complained; the article was pulled down from the wall outside the cave; thrashed into a clay jar; and moved deep into the back of one of the caves. Never to be seen or heard from again.

Until now!

I have in my possession a copy of the original “Why so Loud?” article.

But here is the bad news: I cannot understand the Greek, Aramaic, Hebrew, Shebrew, or Gaybrew, that it is written in. So maybe we’ll NEVER know the answer to this question…

*NorthEastWestSouth86400: 86400 seconds = 24 hours, thus abbreviated News24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
7 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Dale Edwards
E-Cigarette, Vaping, E-liquids: W...

So, to start with I am going to expose my bias towards E-Cigarettes (From here on forth known as Vaping). I have been a smoker for 17 years. I decided to start vaping. I did not believe in the concept, but much to my surprise it actually worked! Read more...

16 comments 1301 views
Submitted by
Howard Feldman
Seriously BDS, Get a Grip

The BDS need to acknowledge what a monumental failure their South African Woolworths campaign has been. Read more...

115 comments 4489 views
Submitted by
Pierre Willemse
Boks vs Wales - the final stretch

What an enthralling year of ups and downs it has been and in my opinion a lot more ups than downs. Read more...

0 comments 411 views
Submitted by
Craig Pedersen
Thoughts of Freemasonry

Founded in South Africa in 1756, Freemasonry is South Africas oldest fraternal organisation - if not the oldest established organisation.  Read more...

169 comments 4290 views
Submitted by
woadstress
Melancholy Madness

 Read more...

4 comments 239 views
Submitted by
NotSoMysteriousBrony
The folly of Labour laws

Recently I heard that government wishes to up the minimum wage requirements for domestic workers. This got me thinking about the increased strictness of labour laws in our country.  Read more...

54 comments 2276 views

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Magical Massinga

Spend 5 nights at the gorgeous Massinga Beach Lodge in Mozambique and only pay for 4 from R13 220 per person sharing. Includes return flights, accommodation, transfers and romantic turndown. Book now!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

24 hour sale – Up to 70% off

Its black Friday, save up to 70% on a wide range of awesome products at kalahari.com. Offers valid while stocks last. T&C’s apply. Shop now!

Save up to 60% on toys!

Don’t miss out on this hot offer, save up to 60% on toys. While stocks last. Shop now!

Festive gifts!

Check out our awesome range of festive gifts to make everyone’s wishes come true. Shop now!

Seen something you like in our catalogue?

Find the perfect gift and save up to R5000 – As seen on the catalogue. Hurry and shop now!

Save up to R2200 on electronics! – As seen in the catalogue

Wishing for tech gadgets this festive? Save up to R2100 on hot tech products at kalahari.com. While stocks last. Shop now!

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

Samsung Galaxy s4

Mobile, Cell Phones in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 24

Best bargain in big bay

Real Estate, Houses - Apartments for Sale in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

VW Golf 6, 1.6 Trendline (Excellent condition)

Vehicles, Cars in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2014 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.








Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.