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MarkH
 
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Dear Santa Claus

09 November 2012, 15:15

Here we go again folks, it’s Christmas for the big wigs in the ANC and considering some of them are communists, many are trade unionists and at least one – we’ll not mention names, shall we – is (extremely) polygamous and thus just a bit out of synch with Christianity, it’s possibly time for us to also address our wishes to Father Xmas lest we be forgotten in the rush.

Firstly, I would dearly like to know – and a simple spread sheet would suffice here – how many houses and essential services could have been provided for the needy and poor from the 1,6 billion Rand currently being spent on upgrades for President Zuma and his inner circle of (presumably) invaluable cabinet ministers. Keep it simple please, Gramps, I’m basically just a peasant with an enquiring mind.

Next, Can you please speak to those people at the SARS and find out how long it will take them to refund me my taxes paid for the 2011 financial year. I realise that they owe me a substantial amount – a couple of thousand Rand is substantial to me, if not to others – and that they’re having a tough time lately with so much official expenditure to cope with but I really could use the money for food, rent, petrol and next year’s college fees for my son. We’ve already cancelled Christmas with things being so expensive and will be staying at home but it would be nice to put something special on the dinner table come Christmas Day.

I hate to be a burden, fully realizing that there are others such as the many royal families now in South Africa who are probably much more deserving - considering they are doing important things and I am merely a worker - but could you lastly possibly see what you could do about stopping the SABC from contacting me on a daily basis and demanding license fees for the past 10 years. I really haven’t watched their propaganda, or owned a TV, for that period of time and am now tired of paying for their reverse charge calls.

I’ll not burden you further at this time as I realise you’ve probably a pile of e-mails to reply to but if you could just take care of the above I would be able to go into 2013 relatively free of debt and possibly able to continue my work at the salt mines. I’ve a growing number of dependants anxiously awaiting money for refurbishments to their homes and official residences and being a loyal tax-paying citizen I would hate to disappoint them.

Thank so much,

Mark

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