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Death by Electrocution

04 December 2012, 19:39

"Heal the world, make it a better place" the words strike me as I duck out of the way of a flying piece of plastic, a remnant of the songs author, Mr Jackson's face, as the Cape doctor carries it to its final destination where it will surely strangle some poor seagull along the coast.

In this brief moment of sympathy for Mother Nature, I realize how many solar geysers lay topless on the roofs of houses in my neighbourhood, where they tan like some kind of cold blooded “akkedis” and I find myself wondering how their owners managed to pool such extensive resources to buy this controversial contraption.

Still humming to the tune, I partially commit myself to Michael’s plea as I find myself “jumping” from rooftop to rooftop like Captain Planet as I count the number of solar geysers. Judging by the number of units I count I must be lost in the wrong neighborhood, because I surely cannot afford such a thing. I take a moment to stop at a “toppies” house whom has one of these installed as he idly sits on his front porch puffing his pipe.

After a few minutes he professes to the real nature of this sun creature, and my suspicions ring true in the back of my head, not enough hot water, not a chance of me getting one.

As Jacksons song is replaced by a Cat Islam or is that Yusuf Stevens, I hardly ever recall, “treffer”: where will the children play; I find myself with a vision of my offspring playing with a broken coke bottle, dressed in plastic Pick ‘n Pay bags and speaking in a mixed Xhosa/ English/ Afrikaans slang language I hardly recognize.

Emerson’s words sneak attack me from behind: “Ne te quæsiveris extra” or look not outside thyself, as I find myself compelled to seek some kind of escape from my energy intensive lifestyle. Obviously I consult my knowledge doctor Mr. Google and find a very, very, very limited number of solutions: sheds full of Solar geysers, Oceans full of Heat pumps, geyser timers, shower heads and the Turbo HeatXchanger.

With my prior consultation from the “toppie” I quickly cross Solar from my list, almost immediately followed by the heat pump that also costs the same as the car I’m driving and I am left with insulation of my geyser aan efficient shower head and a Turbo HeatXchanger. Now I have already had Eskom guys come round and insulate my geyser, so I guess I can’t double insulate, which leaves me with only two options: Let Eskom continue stealing my money or consider these energy efficient products that I can actually afford.

I will let you know in a couple of days how they work out, definitely before the Mayan end of the world.

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