PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Tyronehster
 
Comments: 13
Article views: 455
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all Tyronehster's badges.
 

Debunking Myths

18 December 2012, 07:54

Today, in Saskatchewan Province, Canada, Big Foot was spotted. The sighting was confirmed by a team from the University of British Columbia, headed by Professor Ben Dalziel. After numerous reports and months of searching, Big Foot was finally found.

‘This is without a doubt the biggest foot I have ever seen,’ said Professor Dalziel, pointing to a giant-sized foot. ‘If you just measure the toes, you would see that it would require a size 152 boot to fit that foot.’

When asked what had led them to this spot, he replied that the stench emitted by this unwashed foot had led people living in the area to believe there was a Gorgonzola factory operating illegally nearby. Police had investigated and then contacted the Professor and alerted him to the location of Big Foot.

Another great lie is that the photo of the Loch Ness monster is a fake. The man who took the photo was a doctor. Would a doctor lie? Preposterous!

There are many lies which bear repeating, so I’m going to tell them now, then Derek can say, ‘See, I told you so: Tyrone always lies.’

Galileo was not imprisoned by order of Pope Urban VIII. The Pope was in fact imprisoned by order of Galileo, who then took him to the Leaning Tower of Pisa and dropped him from the top, to see if he would hit the ground at the same time as an overripe melon dropped at the same time.

The melon did, in fact, hit the ground at the same time, and made more of a mess. Gravity was thus invented.

But Galileo’s name was besmirched by this act and lies were spread about him, until the church decided to exact its revenge by saying that they had in fact imprisoned him, and not he the Pope, in order to save face. Thus is history twisted by those in authority.

It is also false to say of Einstein that he said, ‘God does not play dice with the universe.’ He was, in fact, discussing the Bible with one of his acolytes and said, pointing to the Apocrypha, ‘God does not play nice in this verse.’

See how easily people’s words are twisted and used against them? It is almost as if people deliberately distort the truth, but that could not possibly be the case.

Could it?  

It is my objective to expose these pernicious lies, and set forth the word of truth, that it may parade around naked, as Lady Godiva was supposed to have done, but which is another falsehood.

She was a singer in the local church choir, which is where she got her name God Diva, which people then shortened to Godiva, as people are wont to do. This is a fact and is indisputable, because I read it somewhere.

Anyway, she was out riding one day, on a horse, you see, when someone said, ‘Where are Lady Godiva’s clothes?’, because she was wearing a riding habit, as opposed to her normal singing habit. The habit didn’t sing; she sang while wearing the habit. I just said that so that you know it wasn’t the clothing that was singing. People get very confused sometimes.

And from that, wicked people down the ages have extrapolated that she wore no clothes, as opposed to wearing different clothes.

King Arthur is another story that has been distorted down the centuries. His relationship with Merlin is well-known, but what is not so well-known was that, before he entertained the idea of being King, he was Merlin’s apprentice, just like Mickey Mouse in the Walt Disney movie, and took many of the herbs Merlin took. One of the herbs is well-known in this country due to the calls for it to be legalised.

Mickey Mouse did not take any of those herbs, by the way, because he was a fictional character.

But when the legend says Arthur pulled the sword from the stone, it is false. He pulled a sword when stoned, and accidentally cut off Uther Pendragon’s head, thereby vacating the throne and declaring himself King.

And of course, we could not finish off so riveting an article without bringing in our own beloved Nelson Mandela. In this country he is regarded almost as a saint, and it’s not that hard to see why. Twenty-seven years in jail, and he comes out of jail to become the President of South Africa.

Just goes to show; crime pays!

The last bit is not my own lie, by the way: if you want to blame anyone, blame Ricky Gervais; he said it.

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
13 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Reggie Makgoba
The creative student

There is nothing more fulfilling to any teacher than seeing their students challenge the status quo and finding ways to contribute new ideas to a subject with passion. Read more...

0 comments 32 views
Submitted by
Kelvin Esiasa167
Social Injustices should be curbe...

I am writing this article at the backdrop of calamities that have been taking places around the globe and the South African xenophobia is one such an example Read more...

3 comments 88 views
Submitted by
Magda_Kus
Stop Hate/ Xenophobia/ Racism - I...

If you were driving past a scene of an accident, with no emergency services in sight, would you carry on driving saying "I did not cause that accident!" Read more...

2 comments 91 views
Submitted by
Puff
Bloodlust

This man had a mother. A father. He was perhaps a brother, a friend, a lover. This man had a purpose. He had a dream. He had a life. He had laughter and love and hope waiting for him. Read more...

4 comments 529 views
Submitted by
Andre Colling
The Saudis, Iran, Yemen and a bad...

Many conclude that Yemen is yet another step towards the cataclysmic sectarian war and , quite possibly, the trigger that leads the region to this ultimate battle. I, for one, can find no reason not to hold a similar position. Read more...

2 comments 503 views
Submitted by
Elaine Bing
Roots of xenophobia and genocide

We don’t want to live in a country that harms others and we need to all take on the responsibility of preventing further violence. Read more...

26 comments 382 views
 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

News24 on Android Get the latest from News24 on your Android device.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2015 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.




Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.