As little girls we are taught that little girls are made of sugar and spice and all things nice. You should never spit, swear and definitely NOT FART! Scratching is out, no pulling, tugging or pushing. You may never have any fun or your bra strap will creep out from under your shirt.
Even now as a grown woman, just relaxing is out the window. Should I fart my boyfriend will probably swallow his tongue. Our butt cracks may never show. Our faces must not glow. (Unless you are pregnant off course then glowing is in fact required.) Underwear should stay under. Your nails should always be cared for and please no cracks on your heals. Your hair should always be clean…preferably…and brushed as nobody likes that just woken up look. Make-up should enhance your features not make you look like the clown from IT (The Movie).
Every woman must be the queen of the castle…
YEAH RIGHT! Problem is that we also need to sometimes let loose and let that very uncomfortable fart out. I am grinning from ear to ear just thinking of how my family would react if I were to burp, fart, spit or do anything of the kind in front of them. But back to my story…
We should rather breastfeed our babies than bottle feed them, but not in public where people can look at your boob…cause that’s just disgusting. *pulls a face* Our underwear is all over the TV, and usually on the front page of some magazines, but we are not allowed to show our bra straps…cause that’s just cheap…*pulls another face*
Gees….. I am out of breath just thinking of how many times a day I check if everything is in place. How often I have to remember not to swear like a pirate. How many times I have to make sure that I look like Snow White and not like the Evil Queen!
Boobs-up, tummy-in, bum-out…. Smile and off we go.