PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
No.You're a handbag
 
Comments: 30
Article views: 5
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all No.You're a handbag's badges.
 

Definitions for the new South Africa

16 January 2013, 08:39

Reading the stories on News24, it's easy to see that we need a new dictionary to understand what the ANC is trying to say when it makes a comment. Here's what I've worked out so far - feel free to add your own:

Racist

Anyone who doesn't worship the ANC.

Ignorant

Anyone who questions the ANC or it's ministers. Even if they have masters degrees.

White minority capital

Anyone outside of the ANC and their cronies who has any money.

Struggle

A never ending excuse not to start building the country.

Jobs

Something that gets mentioned once a year, during the state of the nation speech.

Social grant

A method of buying votes.

Constitution

A document that can be used as toilet paper at Luthuli House, but has no other value.

African traditions

Anything the ANC does that is illegal by definition, but that they want to do anyway.

Settler

Any South African who is not black. Regardless of how long they can trace their African ancestry.

African

Black people. No one else in Africa is African, even if they were born in Africa.

Taxes

Money that is collected so ANC politicians can have flashy cars and bonuses.

Pets

Things that only white people have.

Apartheid

The reason for EVERY PROBLEM IN THE WORLD

Farm murders

A fairytale that doesn't happen. Even if there's proof.

Education

A piece of paper after 12 years. Even if you can't read it.

When you look at it that way, and if you can recognise the grain of truth in the satire, then you have to wonder when things will change.

If you're reading this, then you're not the average South African. The average South African lives in a shack, can't read, and lives off social grants.

Until that changes (which you also have no control over) none of these definitions will change either.

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
30 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Hubert Khobane
Eskom’s loan shedding hurting the...

Ordinary people are more adversely affected by load-shedding. It is affecting jobs and livelihoods and is sinking our economy. Read more...

1 comments 64 views
Submitted by
Hubert Khobane
Will Cabinet ever learn?

Following the qualification scandals at SAA and the SABC as well as the controversy of a questionable executive at PetroSA, we expected cabinet to be vigilant. Read more...

0 comments 37 views
Submitted by
The Fox 5366
Life Lessons from Breaking Bad

If you haven't yet watched Breaking Bad, I strongly suggest that you at least watch the very first episode (just be warned it's all about drugs if you're sensitive to that sort of thing). Read more...

0 comments 14 views
Submitted by
buppiestyle
Dare I say it - Joy to the world!

My story is no different to many people’s stories, but it is still mine no less. Read more...

3 comments 950 views
Submitted by
atheitisgodfrey
The Doll Test: If this does not d...

I came across the “Doll Test” by accident when catching up on some reading. Read more...

16 comments 3047 views
Submitted by
atheitisgodfrey

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

Grand Theft Auto 5

Now available on PS4, Xbox One and PC from R649. Buy now!

Festive gifts!

Check out our awesome range of festive gifts to make everyone’s wishes come true. Shop now!

Save on Samsung

Cameras, mobile phones, TVs, Tablets and more. While stocks last. Shop now!

Save up to R2200 on electronics! – As seen in the catalogue

Wishing for tech gadgets this festive? Save up to R2100 on hot tech products at kalahari.com. While stocks last. Shop now!

30% off the bestselling books

Save big on the most captivating reads of 2014. While stocks last. Shop now!

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

Samsung Galaxy s4

Mobile, Cell Phones in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 24

Best bargain in big bay

Real Estate, Houses - Apartments for Sale in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

VW Golf 6, 1.6 Trendline (Excellent condition)

Vehicles, Cars in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2014 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.








Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.