MyNews24 is a user-generated section of The stories here come from users.

No.You're a handbag
Comments: 30
Article views: 9
Latest Badges:

View all No.You're a handbag's badges.

Definitions for the new South Africa

16 January 2013, 08:39

Reading the stories on News24, it's easy to see that we need a new dictionary to understand what the ANC is trying to say when it makes a comment. Here's what I've worked out so far - feel free to add your own:


Anyone who doesn't worship the ANC.


Anyone who questions the ANC or it's ministers. Even if they have masters degrees.

White minority capital

Anyone outside of the ANC and their cronies who has any money.


A never ending excuse not to start building the country.


Something that gets mentioned once a year, during the state of the nation speech.

Social grant

A method of buying votes.


A document that can be used as toilet paper at Luthuli House, but has no other value.

African traditions

Anything the ANC does that is illegal by definition, but that they want to do anyway.


Any South African who is not black. Regardless of how long they can trace their African ancestry.


Black people. No one else in Africa is African, even if they were born in Africa.


Money that is collected so ANC politicians can have flashy cars and bonuses.


Things that only white people have.



Farm murders

A fairytale that doesn't happen. Even if there's proof.


A piece of paper after 12 years. Even if you can't read it.

When you look at it that way, and if you can recognise the grain of truth in the satire, then you have to wonder when things will change.

If you're reading this, then you're not the average South African. The average South African lives in a shack, can't read, and lives off social grants.

Until that changes (which you also have no control over) none of these definitions will change either.

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received. publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
Comments have been closed for this article.

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Carel le Roux
Murder NW

Who is going to lose his life next?

0 comments 37 views
Submitted by
What Prof Piketty doesn't know ab...

Economist Piketty has stirred up a lot of attention around the world. But he really needs to understand the radical difference between South Africa and, say, Europe. Read more...

0 comments 332 views
Submitted by
Keltria Orton
The problem with interviews and n...

What happened to paying people what they are worth? Read more...

0 comments 1262 views
Submitted by
Trudy Mhluli
The ANC is obsessed with self int...

It would be a grave mistake if the ANC allowed this week’s meeting to be engulfed by debates on the leadership race. Read more...

0 comments 463 views
Submitted by
Viva one language only

English is the only international language and is used all over the world because it is a language of convenience. Read more...

0 comments 121 views
Submitted by
Sandton Ecomobility

I don't feel safe to ride a bicycle around Sandton, I don't know about anybody else? Read more...

0 comments 103 views


E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on Android Get the latest from News24 on your Android device.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

TV Get us in your home, on your television.

Interactive Advertising Bureau
© 2015 All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.


Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.

Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire network.


Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.

Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.