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Disagree without being disagreeable?

28 March 2012, 08:49

How would best describe yourself when you're in a situation where you feel the need to say the things everybody else is too afraid to utter? Are we disagreeable when society at large leaves very little or no room for disagreeing with them?

Self-destruction is probably one of our worst fears in life,coupled with the obvious scenarios that goes with it like the fear of change, fear of loss of control, negative life experiences and being manipulated by other people or circumstances beyond our control. Is society a better place to be in when we disagree more through healthy disputes and differing viewpoints? If you take human emotions out of the equation briefly, can we then handle the so-called difficult conversations and issues that triggers and causes disagreements?

Have we become to self aware of not wanting to offend the wrong kind of people? Almost as if we are hemmed in by the fear of losing our sense of friendship or respect. A placid frame of mind will enable us to view ourselves and others in a proper manner.

Not many of us have the plans in place for managing conflicts and disagreements with friends, family, or a co-worker, even though these events are an inevitable part of most of our relationships. Apparently there is actually benefit from disagreeing so as to avoid further hurt feelings and damaged relationships. Resolving heated disputes through respect, negotiation, and compromise aids in doing just that.

Consider how often our own over-exuberance nature must test the patience of others and how it must exasperate them. However disagreeing don't mean we are critical, cynical, angry, argumentative, and unhappy complainers.

Disagreeing whenever something goes wrong might be a reflection of our belief that everything must always go right.It just has to go right for some people most if not all of the time.Failure to some is not an option.If that is true of you,then it ain't going to work in life. A mature individual deals with daily annoyances,not behave as someone that just cannot handle or make mistakes. Thoughtful consideration and a pleasing tone of voice can offset and replace any impatience,anger and indifference.

Healthy conflicts and disagreemets gives us the opportunity to express our ideas and also to learn more about the ideas of other people. But we don’t have to necessarily engage in open warfare over every and all disagreements.

Mark Twain once wrote: "It were not best that we should all think alike, it is difference of opinion that makes horse-races."


1.Author Suzette Haden Elgin:"How to Disagree Without Being Disagreeable: Getting Your Point Across With the Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense".

2.Disagree Without Being Disagreeable By F. John Reh.


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