I need help….. My domestic (let's call her Lily) is a lovely Xhosa lady. She is in her late thirties with two children from her previous marriage. As I understand it, her husband passed away many years ago. She doesn't desire any more children.
Lily has, however, been living with a boyfriend for five years and from all she tells me, they have a happy, loving and stable relationship. To my shock she tells me a week ago that he is going to get married…. to another women!
Now I would really like to understand her situation better because it seems to be intermingled in a culture I neither know nor understand very well. According to her, she would have to move to Transkei for a number of months should they marry. She does not want to do this as one of her children is school going in her current home province and Lily also depends on her current employment to help support her Mom (who by the way also resides in Transkei). Boyfriend has no children so I get that this may be an issue but my question (I naively ask) is what about love? Boyfriend is apparently quite upset by the situation but does understand Lily's position.
Can someone please explain why marriage involves relocating to Transkei and can they not just continue living together as the have for the last five years?
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