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Irukandji
 
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Don’t be so “gatvol”

12 February 2014, 14:42

You know, so many of the people in this country have openly stated that they are “gatvol.” (I’m not including Leon Schuster’s gatvolness – his movies actually make me gatvol. But that’s not important right now.

If you care to take a closer look at what’s happening in the godforsaken country of ours, you will never become gatvol. I promise you. (And I don’t make empty election promises like our politicians, with their: free houses, free “real jobs,” free university education, free dignified toilets for the pee pull’s gatvol gatte, and gat-free streets.)

What I propose, is that you take a good, hard, look at your gatvol fellow human beans. Do you know what will happen?

You will laugh your gat off! You will never again become gatvol at anything in the world. Your gatvolness will become a thing of the past. You will be gatless for the first time in your life.

Here are some pointers to help you on your way to true gatlessness:

ANC: “We promise the pee pull 5 million jobs.”

DA: “We promise the pee pull 6 million ‘real jobs.’”

EFF: “We’ll give the pee pull red berets.”

ANC: “We’ll give the pee pull yellow T-shits.”

DA: “We’ll give the black pee pull white berets and the white pee pull black berets.”

Rumpeeelay: “I give the pee pull free university education and saddle blankets.”

ANC: “We’ll give the pee pull KFC.”

DA: “We’ll give the pee pull blue T-shits.”

ANC: “We’ll give the pee pull Animal Farm.”

Cope (remember them?): “We’ll also give something.”

DA: “We’ll give the pee pull Nando’s adverts.”

The Pee Pull: “We deemant see-vass deeleevarry, and free how-sees. But we’ll settle for T-shits, KFC, Nando’s, saddle blankets, and berets.”

ANC, DA, EFF, Agang, and Cope, altogether: “You see? We have created a better life for all. Now we will go back to sleep for the next four years, or until the mindless masses need new T-shits and berets, whichever comes first.”

How can anyone EVER get gatvol at the shenanigans of these clowns?

The DA and the ANC are muching and fighting in the streets of Jo’burg. Their suppottas are puppets led by their puppet masters.

The only people laughing all the way to the bank are those who supply the pee pull with T-shits, berets, and chicken. And me. But I’m not laughing all the way to the bank. I’m just laughing my gat off. Because it’s mine.

Just remember, after the 7th of May, it will be business as usual. Whether you are gatvol or gatless, is up to you.

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