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Straight Talk and Fork You
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Eat your heart out

11 July 2014, 05:00

Having read the article on News24 with regards to the heart eater from Zimbabwe, I can’t help but think upon this incident with shame. What is this planet coming to? What is the human race coming to? From fornicating with animals, the most recent being that foul deed with the fowl from Barberton, to a heart eating cannibal from Zimbabwe.

Given the fact that Robert Mugabe has single-handedly raped Zimbabwe from being the once flourishing food producing African country and climaxing it into the barren landscape we see today, one can almost be inclined towards thinking that her residents has no choice other than spiralling towards cannibalism. Although this seems an unthinkable act - coming all the way from Zimbabwe to fest upon our people here seems the norm of the day.

Many immigrants are a real danger to our country anyway, thus with the new immigration laws currently being implemented, South Africans should indeed be thankful instead of criticizing these laws. While these laws may indeed seem harsh, I’d rather see Hannibal Lecter being deported back home before he decides upon copulating with my daughter. Obviously, if he ends up being someone else’s delicacy, all sliced up as stewing beef or a roast, I don’t want his kids eyeing their grandfather as a potential edibility.

According to the original News24 article I noticed has a partner too: Pasop boet – you might have stolen his heart but you’d better guard yours from now on.

Imagining letting loose one of these fellows in Zuma’s Nkandla homestead – all his concubines will be at risk of losing their hearts to this one.

Nee wat, I’d rather stick to pap and vleis, and carefully consider employing any skinny looking foreign national henceforth.

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