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R.Phiri
 
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Elephant in the room

22 November 2012, 08:16

Anchorman: In the news a somewhat p!ssed off elephant bull charged and overturned a vehicle in the Kruger National Park this week. The incident occurred on the S25 road between Berg-en-Dal and Crocodile Bridge. For more, we are now joined by the Elephant in the room.

Anchorman: MR p!ssed Elephant what triggered or aggravated you so much that you had to attack a vehicle with innocent passengers. Since communication officers at the Park, say they are not sure what triggered the charge, but that they suspect it may have something to do with a previous injury. Is this the case?

P!ssed Elephant: I wanted to run a mock on the government’s endless white elephant projects?

Anchorman: P!ssed off Elephant…what you basically saying is that you mistook the white vehicle in the park for a white elephant…Thus in a metaphorical manner you assumed that this was a white elephant project?

P!ssed Elephant: To some extent I wanted to blame it on apartheid, but black people have already took my pick up line. So I’ll stick with your excuse…it sounds sensible.

Anchorman: Park officials have stated that an incident like this is extremely rare. But recently we have seen Chickens worldwide refusing to cross the road. Reasons for their refusal are still murky at the moment. But animal activists say fowl play may have sparked this bizarre behaviour. An untalented comedian named Ronald Phiri, who wishes to remain anonymous, says this is no longer a joke. Why are animals suddenly starting to behave in an unorthodox manner?

P!ssed Elephant: But you humans have made provision for such behaviour in your constitution…look at how some of  the animals in parliament misbehave. Yet you place the spotlight on one rare incident in the Kruger National park.

Anchorman:  MR P!ssed off Elephant, are you aware that the driver of the vehicle sustained knee injuries while trying to escape?

P!ssed Elephant: This is nothing compared to the pain he’s going to feel when the E-Tolls are passed…start purchasing your KY jelly and brace yourselves for financial molestation.

Anchorman:  MR P!ssed off Elephant, your attack has nothing to do with the E-Toll and other issues you have mentioned. Why are you avoiding the fact that you were wrong?

P!ssed Elephant: Sorry for not answering your questions…I have a short term memory.

Anchorman:  Do you realize that you facing possible criminal charges…damage to property and assault?

P!ssed Elephant: My brothers Schabir Possum Shaik and Jackass Possum Selebi are card carrying members…so If I am prosecuted…I will just play possum and will be teeing off on the greens in no time. Do you fancy a game of golf MR Anchorman?

Anchorman:  Sadly the government has confiscated my golf clubs to give them to David Malatsi, a former politician and former Environmental Affairs MEC, who was found guilty of corruption relating to the controversial Roodefontein Golf Estate Development. He’s another Tiger Wood’s in the making.

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