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Emotionally charged moments

16 December 2012, 13:20

Thirty three odd years ago I became a father for the very first time and it was, for me anyway, an experience of unparalleled joy. For my wife it was more one of relief than joy, I think. The joy came a little later.

I cried when my son was delivered; actual, salty, baby tears. I was not even a little embarrassed. As much as I loved my wife, this was something different, almost spiritual in its emotional power and once experienced, never forgotten. So much so that I pity the poor fathers of yesteryear, who waited impatiently outside the ward and were shown in after mother and baby were washed and respectable.

When my second son was born, nine years later, the gynaecologist asked me if I would like to deliver him myself. Of course I would, and did. And very nearly dropped him, not realising how slippery new-born babies are! 

And yes, I cried.

I’m a big baby when it comes to big emotional moments.

Joy for me equals tears, so when my son came back home after two years in Seoul, I cried. I didn’t cry when he left; I left that for my wife.

If there were in fact a way to measure joy, a Joyometer, let’s call it, I would register very high on these high moments, as I tend to be a very demonstrative person.

When my son received his degree, I had a lump in my throat that, to the outsider, would have resembled a second Adam’s apple, and my eyes were moist, even though I did not cry.

My wife had no such reservations: she cried openly.

Emotionally charged moments

Last year, when my eldest son married, it took all my willpower not to cry, as I dearly love my daughter-in-law and, as I said to her, if I could have gone out and chosen a woman for him, she would have been the one I would have chosen. Weddings are emotionally charged moments anyway, but when it’s your eldest son marrying someone so special, it makes it a moment of exceeding joy.

The Joyometer, however, is broken. It was never meant to handle the amount of stress it was put through today. It would have had to have been made to resist a nuclear strike to withstand what it went through today.

I will not say I’m elated, because I’m not. Elated cannot begin to cover it. Purple prose of the most vulgar or elegant sort could not begin to describe my joy, for it has no bounds, nor should it. I could say I’m ecstatic, but even there the poverty of language hinders what I want to express.

It’s not that I lack skill as a wordsmith, for I am able to spin a yarn as well as any silkworm. It’s purely the paucity of language that hinders me.

Today, no-one can steal my joy, for this joy comes up from the wellsprings of my heart and that is completely boundless.

My wonderful daughter-in-law today gave birth to my first grandchild, and the only thing that could make my joy more complete is if they were here instead of Toronto and I could hold that little bundle of joy in my arms.

Young Caspian is healthy and perfect in every way and, thanks to the interwebs, we can see what he looks like and I don’t care who this annoys, but God be praised for delivering this little miracle to us!

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