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Lauren Rants
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Everyday Is The End Of The World

13 February 2013, 09:00

So for those of you who are constantly shoving end of world theories down our throats – this one’s for you.

I recently read, in horror at humanity’s stupidity, that the world is to end. Again. Again? How many times has it ended now? A hundred? Two Hundred? It seems that everyday there is a new horrifying apocalypse on the horizon, and we are all goners at every turn. I did not read this story in detail (As I do not really care) but apparently some meteor is set to hit us on Friday. Now after countless failed (abysmally failed) End of World theories - are people actually going to listen to this? Are people actually going to take it seriously and gather their families, giving away all their money and taking to the streets to die like they did in May 2011? Something is wrong. And people need to stop it right now. The whole theory of “The End OF The World” is a complete farce, and the biggest joke in history.

Who remembers Y2K? Who remembers May 2011 when Harold Camping told us Jesus is returning, and the world’s roads were covered in billboards stating that “The Bible Guarantees it”? Who remembers years of fear and outcry leading up to 2012, and when the day came, it could not have been calmer or less interrupted? Not many people know that End of World scares have been occurring since BC. I am going to do you all a favour, by listing a few “End of World theories” that have occurred in the history of humankind. Just a few. It is impossible for me to list all of them, as there are hundreds, but click on the following link to check them all out, every last pain-staking one of them:

After which, you decide for yourself whether you think we're going to bite the dust on Friday or not.

634BCE: Many Romans feared that the city would be destroyed in the 120th year of it’s founding. There was a myth that 12 eagles had revealed to Romulus a mystical number representing the lifetime of Rome, and some early Romans hypothesized that each eagle represented 10 years.

1000 Jan 1: The Millennium Apocalypse at the end of the Christian Millennium. Various Christian clerics predicted the end of the world on this date, including Pope Sylvester II. Riots occurred in Europe. Pilgrims headed east to Jerusalem.

1033: Following the failure of the January 1, 1000 prediction, some theorists proposed that the end would occur 1000 years after Jesus death, instead of his birth.

1524 Feb 1: A group of astrologers in London predicted the world would end by a flood starting in London based on calculations made the previous June. 20,000 Londoners left their homes and headed for higher ground in anticipation.

1600: Martin Luther Predicted the end of the world would occur no later than 1600.

1624 Feb 1: The same astrologers who predicted the deluge of February 1, 1524 recalculated the date to February 1, 1624 after their first prophecy failed.

1697: This Puritan minister, Cotton Marther predicted the world would end this year. After the prediction failed, he revised the date of the End two more times.

1814: Joanna Southcott. This 64-year-old self-described prophet claimed she was pregnant with the Christ child, and that he would be born on Christmas Day, 1814. She died on the day of her prediction, and an autopsy proved she was not pregnant.

1901: This church, founded in 1831, claimed that Jesus would return by the time the last of its 12 founding members died. The last member died in 1901.

1935: An evangelist announced that "the world is going to go 'puff' and disappear" in September 1935.

1962: This psychic predicted a planetary alignment on this day was to bring destruction to the world.

1980: In 1978 Jensen predicted that there would be a nuclear disaster in 1980, followed by two decades of conflict, culminating in God's Kingdom being established on earth.

1994 (Sep 6, 29, and Oct 2) Harold Camping predicted the Rapture would occur on September 6, 1994. When it failed to occur he revised the date to September 29 and then to October 2.

2000 Jan 1: Predictions of a Y2k computer bug were to crash many computers and would malfunction causing major catastrophes worldwide and that society would cease to function.

2003: This Japanese cult predicted the world would be destroyed by a nuclear war between October 30 and November 29, 2003.

2011 May 21: Camping predicted that the Rapture and devastating earthquakes would occur on May 21, 2011 with God taking approximately 3% of the world's population into Heaven, and that the end of the world would occur five months later on October 21.

2011 Oct 21: When his original date failed to come about, Camping revised his prediction and said that on May 21, a "Spiritual Judgment" took place, and that both the physical Rapture and the end of the world would occur on October 21, 2011.

2012 Dec 21: The so-called Mayan apocalypse at the start of the 14th b'ak'tun. The Earth would be destroyed by an asteroid, Nibiru, or some other interplanetary object; an alien invasion; or a supernova. Scientists from NASA, along with expert archeologists, stated that none of those events were possible.

2012 Dec 23: The president of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints predicted from his prison cell that the world would end by December 23.

2012 Dec 31: When the end failed to occur as he had predicted on December 23, Jeffs blamed it on his followers "lack of faith", and moved the prediction to December 31.

…And this is miniscule compared to the actual amount on Wikipedia. And if it’s still not enough, there are more predictions for the future, starting in 2020 and finishing in 22,000,000,000. What a joke.

So excuse me if I am not up in arms and gathering my loved ones in fear of Friday, but I think everyone should realize by now that it is a complete circus. Anyone who continues to “predict” these things is merely making a fool of themself. We cannot know when it is going to end, and for all we know it might not even end at all. People are obsessed with the world ending to give themselves some drama in their sad lives. Well, I am not going to be a part of that. Enjoy your life to the fullest, and take no notice of bored, senseless and pathetic people, who will keep predicting the end of the world until they die, and their own world is finally over.

Let me know what the rest of you reading this think and who is with me or not.

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