PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Tyronehster
 
Comments: 95
Article views: 773
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all Tyronehster's badges.
 

Evolution

06 September 2012, 14:58

Fishin’ and huntin’ can become a might tiresome, so Abner and Buford was a settin’ on the banks of the crick with their fishin’ poles in their hands, just thankin’ ‘bout thangs. Flies was abuzzin’ round their straw hats and life was purty good all roun, but sumpin was botherin’ Buford.

‘Say Abner, you larned how t’read, dinya?’

‘Why shore! I went to school up until the teacher ran away with Marylou. I read purty good.’

Abner paused a moment, thinking deeply, his brow creased in thought. ‘D’you thank it’s true what them city folk say, we come fum monkeys?’

‘Well, Bu, that ain’t zackly right. They ain’t sayin’ we come fum monkeys, it’s a bit more complicated than that.’

‘But that there preacher man, he done tol’ us that God made us. I don’ have no tail!’

Abner looked at him in exasperation. ‘I jes tol you we din come fum monkeys! What in tarnation’s wrong with yer ears?’

He put down his fishin’ pole and put his foot on’t, so the fish wouldn’t be draggin’ it away if they bit.

‘Lookee here,’ he said, leanin’ a bit toward Buford. ‘A long time ‘go, even before the Bible was writ, there war’  big ol’ swamp, and these two thangs called meebas, was floatin’ there in that there mud, when one a them said, “I’m gonna get outa here an’ mosey roun a bit.” T’other one said t’him, “Y’all doggone crazy? You ain’t even got no eyes! What if sumpin comes along that wants t’eat ya?’

“Well, I’ll jes quickly grow me a flat-eye.”

“What in the hell is that?” t’other one asked.

“It’s a simple light sensin’ organ, so I can detect when sumpin’s comin’ “

“You kiddin’?” said tother one. “Where in tarnation you gonna find that?”

“It’s gonna grow on me: it’s called eevolution.”

“Eevolution? That’s the craziest idea I ever heard!” He sank down into a swamp sulk. “You go on, get yoresel’ kilt. Ain’t my business nowhow.” ‘

Buford held up his hand. ‘Now you stop right there. I know you thank I’m dumb, but I ain’t that stupid!’

‘I never said you was stupid: I’m tryin to ‘splain sumpin to you, but if you don’ wanna hear it, that’s fine wi’ me.' He picked up his fishin’ pole and half-turned his back on Buford.

‘Hey, I’m sorry man, but you got me mighty confused. Where in tarnation that meeba gonna find a eye?’

‘I tol’ ya, Buford, he din’ find one, he eevolved it!’

‘But how?’

‘I’m tryin to ‘splain to you, ifn you give me half a chance!’ Buford nodded and assumed his listenin’ position again. ‘A flat-eye ain’t a proper eye, it’s a eye that ony detects light. Get it?’

‘So he din find no eye?’

‘I tol’ you he din’!’ said Abner in frustration. ‘He eevolved one!’

‘’kay, ‘kay, I’m sorry, carry on,’ said Buford.

‘So this here flat eye, it’s like a piece of film fum a camera. Cain’t see nothin’ but light. And this here meeba was getting’ a tad worried, cus maybe sumpin wanted ta eat him, and he could ony see light and shade.’

‘So what he do?’

‘He done bumped inta sumpin’ and that there flat-eye bent, so he could see direction. See how yore eye’s roun’?’

‘Yeah…’

‘That’s why ya kin see in different directions.’

‘Ya mean like a chameleon?’

‘No, you dang fool, I don’ mean yore eyes go roun’ and roun’: I mean the shape of yer eye!’

Buford nodded in understandin’.

‘So the, this here meeba, he wanderin aroun’ seein’ a bit, when a drop o’ water come in front of him, and jes like that, he could see, proper like, so he run off ta tell all his friends there in the swamp whut happened. And they all come crawlin’ out and eevolved them some eyes and found some water drops an’ they could all see.’

‘But that don’t explain the monkeys, Abner.’

Abner sighed, heavy like. ‘I jes told you the story and I tol’ you we don’t come fum no monkeys! Why you carry on with that damnfool question?’

‘Cause that’s whut them city people’re sayin’!’

‘No, they ain’t! I a’ready tol’ ya ‘bout the meebas. I ain’t finished yet!’

‘Sorry, Abner,’ said Buford, leanin’ forward again. ‘I won’ interrupt ya no mo’.’

‘So these here meebas, they eevoloved into itty bitty dinosaurs.’ He seen the puzzled look on Buford’s face, and  said, ‘Ya know ‘bout dinosaurs? Right?’

‘Yeah, yeah, I’m jes puzzlin’ sumpin.’

‘Whut’s that?’

‘These meebas, they purty small, right?’

‘Yup.’

‘And dinosaurs, they purty big…’

‘Yeah, yeah, I get it! Dinosaurs wusn’t big to start, they eevolved big.’

Buford nodded slowly, as understandin’ came to him. ‘So eevolution means small become big?’

Abner scratched his head some. ‘I guess so, but no, that cain’t be zackly right.’

‘Why you say that? You jes done tol’ me that’s whut it is!’

‘Jes wait up a bit!’ said Abner. ‘I gotta think!’ He frowned in concentration, his head hurtin’ sumpin awful, when his face cleared. ‘I got it! I remember now. There wus this feller on the TV, real clever, a p’fessor or sumpin, an’ he explained it all.’

He leaned forward now, real excited. ‘Them meebas, they mighty small, and they divide in half and grow again. But this one meeba, he only half divided, so he eevolved hisself legs. T’other meebas, they thought this wus might clever, so they eevolved theirselves legs as well.’

‘So there ain’t no more meebas?’

‘No, ya see, some of the was lazy, an’ stayed right there in the swamp. So we still got meebas.’

‘So these meebas eevolved theirselves into itty bitty dinosaurs?’

Abner nodded, mighty enthusiastic like. ‘That’s zackly right. Then the dinosaurs eevolved bigger’n bigger, till they wus too big, an’ they all died, an animals come along.’

‘Where in tarnation did t’animals come fum?’

‘God made’em, jes like the Bible says.’

‘So we don’ come fum no monkeys?’

Abner shook his head. ‘Take a real dang fool to b’lieve that!’

‘Tha’s right. Real dang fool.’ An’ picked up his fishin’ pole again. ‘Real dang fool.’

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
95 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
CandK
The pearls of an Atheist Easter

I have an extended family that are Christian, and we are not talking the love they neighbour, forgive your mates and do the right thing, of the good old bishop Tutu kind. Read more...

0 comments 0 views
Submitted by
Makate Rapulana
The colour of corruption

The word "corruption" is without doubt the most (ab)used and politicised word in South Africa.  Read more...

0 comments 0 views
Submitted by
Makate Rapulana
Who is watching the watchdog?

The late chief justice Pius Langa once averred: “I think judges should have a thick skin. We work in public, we give our judgments in public, and we give reasons for those judgments." Read more...

0 comments 0 views
Submitted by
Narian Chengiah Naidoo
A Civilized Society

Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. said, "Taxes are what we pay for a civilized society." Those words carry value and meaning only if "civilized" is understood as being good, happy and beneficial to all citizens. Read more...

6 comments 492 views
Submitted by
Rodney Bevan
SA under Zuma

Jacob Zuma, along with a handful of cronies has single handedly almost destroyed the country, its people and its economy. Read more...

37 comments 2748 views
Submitted by
The Fox 5366
Illegal Miners: Voiceless Prostit...

There's been a lot said about legalising prostitution so that prostitutes can be protected, receive healthcare and not be victimised. Read more...

12 comments 624 views

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Escape winter, head to Mauritius

Escape winter by spending 7 nights in Mauritius' tropical bliss from R13 215 per person sharing. Includes return flights, airport transfers and accommodation. Book now!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

Get many eggs in one basket!

Gaming bundles: 2 Super Hits games for R99, 3 Disney games for R99 and more + exclusive accessory bundles only available on kalahari.com. While stocks last. Shop now!

25% off bestselling books!

The Real Meal Revolution by Tim Noakes, Jeffrey Archer’s Be Careful What You Wish for, Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor E. Frank and many more titles. Shop now!

Up to 25% off electronics

Buy top electronics and save up to 25%. Such as kalahari.com’s 1# selling product the gobii eReader, Patriot X Porter flash drive, Asus Nexus 7” 3G tablet, Samsung Galaxy SIII, Lenovo G580 Notebook and many more. Shop now!

DStv HD PVR Decoder now R949

The DStv HD PVR Decoder has further revolutionised the television experience with lifelike viewing, sharper images, more vibrant colours and precision picture quality. Now R949, save R550. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

Up to 30% off appliances & homeware

Save up to 30% on appliances and homeware this Easter! Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now.

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

Samsung Galaxy s4

Mobile, Cell Phones in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 24

Best bargain in big bay

Real Estate, Houses - Apartments for Sale in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

VW Golf 6, 1.6 Trendline (Excellent condition)

Vehicles, Cars in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Digital Media & Marketing Association
 
© 2014 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.








Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.