PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Charles Dumbwin
 
Comments: 73
Article views: 2716
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all Charles Dumbwin's badges.
 

This article has been selected as an Editor’s Choice report. Articles are selected based on quality of writing, audience response, newsworthiness and originality, and is at the discretion of the MyNews24 editors.

Evolution – the REAL history

15 May 2012, 15:08

Evolution – the REAL history

So you think you know the background on Charles Darwin and his theory of evolution?  Here’s the real story behind the myth ... well, sort of.

Whilst studying at Cambridge, Professor Henslow, who may or may not have had a secret man-boy crush on young Charles – there were rumours - recommended that young Mr Darwin accompany Captain Robert FitzRoy aboard the HMS Beagle on an expedition around North America, stopping off first at a medical convention being held in New York.

With the HMS Beagle having set sail, heading due east, young Charles caught the whiff of a strange odour rising from the crew’s sleeping quarters.  Upon closer inspection, Mr Darwin was introduced to several West-Indian cabin boys and joined them in passing around a spliff of Jamaica’s finest.  It wasn’t long before the entire crew, including Captain FitzRoy, had congregated below deck to join in the festivities.

Half a dozen bongs, a batch of cookies and three missed-sunsets later, the stoned crew finally revived and awoke with killer headaches and a serious case of the munchies.  During the feeding frenzy that followed, they may or may not have eaten Jean-Claude, the ship’s navigator – details remain sketchy.

Several weeks later, with Charlie green around the gills, having just barfed up his breakfast off the starboard bow, he raised the alarm believing he’d spotted the Statue of Liberty.  Captain FitzRoy corrected him and informed Mr Darwin that it was not the Statue of Liberty but indeed the statue of Christ the Redeemer atop the Corcovado Mountain in Rio.

‘Rio?’ said Charles.  ‘Good heavens man, that’s in South America!’

‘Right you are,’ said the Captain.

‘Well, we’re supposed to be attending a convention in New York.  As in New York, North America?’

‘North?’ said the Captain.

‘Yes, bloody north!  This is a continental cockup,’ said Charles, coining the phrase.

‘Struth lad’ said the Captain.  ‘I thought you said south.  I’m not sure how this happened?  Say, has anyone seen Jean-Claude?’

Young Charles decided to make the best of a bad situation and agreed to continue with the crew on this new, unplanned adventure as they pub-crawled their way along the South American coastline.  This continental faux pas was to be the turning point in young Darwin’s discoveries.

Charles spent several hazy years exploring the wonders of South America and most notably the Galápagos Islands.  After bottling a few samples of rock, soil, fossils and various insect and small bird species, he gathered a wide variety of ‘herbs’ and their seedlings, for ... ‘research purposes only’, said Charles.  These delightful specimens included cannabis, sun-dried coca leaves and a large batch of delightfully interesting little mushrooms, for ... ‘cooking purposes only’.

En route back to England, Charles and crew once again transformed the HMS Beagle into a floating hot-box and mellowed their merry way home across the Atlantic.

Back home, Charles began sorting and planting his new herb collection.  He also strategically stacked his jars of rocks, soils and fossils in the tool shed outside and used them as stands to prop up his herb trays.

It’s common knowledge that the Darwin family engaged in their fair share of incestuous behaviour, and Charles’ eureka moment came several months later whilst perusing through a wad of family photos.  He noticed that several of his family members possessed a certain anthropoidal quality (that’s what happens when cousins breed, with Charles himself having married his own cousin, Emma Wedgwood).  The light suddenly went on and thus began the start of Charlie’s real work into understanding the links between genetics and his family’s ill health.

After much research on the matter, and a lot of ‘private time’ in the smoky tool shed, Charles Darwin concocted his absurd theories and eventually published his assertions, and in so doing, utterly confused the world - or at least the gullible part of it - and the rest, as they say, is history.

So, only one question remains:

Charles Darwin – Super Scientist or Cannabis Crackpot?  You decide.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Darwin

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
73 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Julian Faasen
UCT too white

Unpacking Institutional Racism and White Privilege at UCT. Read more...

72 comments 2340 views
Submitted by
Fired up
The End of Utopia- A Perspective ...

French-American anthropological philosopher René Girard argues that modernity is the end of history, in effect it’s the apocalypse foreseen by the Book of Revelation, if not in a literal, yet still in a Biblical sense.  Read more...

36 comments 1170 views
Submitted by
Alex
Are celebrities responsible for t...

The massive outpouring of pain that was the result of Zyn Malik leaving the musical group One Direction and the level of disturbing behaviour that has resulted from it is pretty unbelievable. Read more...

8 comments 705 views
Submitted by
Mark Peach
An ode to silence, and peace

"Seek peace, and pursue it" is an injunction from the Good Book. It was, I gather, something King David once said. And who better to wish for it, given his tumultuous life.  Read more...

6 comments 120 views
Submitted by
Benevolence Mudenda
First the blade & then the ear

As in the natural, so in the spiritual sowing; the teacher of truth must seek to prepare the soil of the heart; he must sow the seed. Read more...

32 comments 361 views
Submitted by
Mq Moyo
Questions about God

Throughout the week, I’ve been enabled by the Holy Spirit to answer pertinent questions regarding God.  Read more...

117 comments 718 views
 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2015 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.




Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.