PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
GonzoMike
 
Comments: 3
Article views: 435
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all GonzoMike's badges.
 

Fear and Loathing...in Vienna?

04 February 2013, 12:01

While still in Vienna and keen to soak up what MyNews24 user, jacqui.daanevanrensburg, calls “a civilized experience”, I decided to spend Sunday afternoon at the Marionette Theater at Schönbrunn Palace watching the puppet opera production of Mozart’s Magic Flute in hopes of redeeming myself after hours spent at my laptop and the heresy of travelling to a foreign country and eating McDonald’s instead of local delicacies. My drug of choice for enduring operas would not normally be caffeine, but acting on Tannie Daane Van Rensburg’s advice, I got loaded on potent Austrian Coffee (imported from Ethiopia) and prepared for my next misadventure.

The show is advertised on the wien.info website as follows:  “The puppets dance for you in the Hofratstrakt of Schönbrunn Palace. Small dreams shaped from wood, to which the operators briefly give charm and soul, bring a world of fantasy, drama and art to life.”

The writers of this small extract were clearly on some serious mind-deadening opiates. How it should read is: “The evil little imps directly from the pages of some Pseudo-Germanic Nazi Mythology Manifesto dance in eager anticipation of feasting upon your spleen in the Hofratstrakt of Schönbrunn Palace. Small insidious nightmares shaped from wood and the spiny bones of your favourite deceased childhood pets, into which the Germanic demon, Krampus, has personally breathed his fetid life-force to bring a world of excrutiating terror, childhood trauma and dread to life.”

Before recounting my horrific experience, let me warn the uninitiated reader that Austrian/Ethiopian espresso should NOT be underestimated. During World War 2 Nazi soldiers injected this stuff directly into their eyeballs to keep themselves up for weeks on end. This is not Ricoffy, ladies and gentlemen, this is a class A stimulant as far as I am concerned. One cup will elevate your mood, increase alertness, improve athletic performance. Two cups, will induce hyperglyphia, erratic speech and the overwhelming sensation of being on the brink of some incredible revelation. Three cups can spell anything from kidney failure to adrenal psychosis. After my sixth I began to realise that I had made a terrible mistake.

 The theatre turned out to be the size of a 16th century dungeon ante-chamber and was packed with kids. Every hyper-alert Austrian mother had their eyes on me as if I was the next Josef Fritzl. The caffeine was bleeding from my pores in steaming rivulets by now and my eyes were the sunken pits of the eternally depraved. Relax! Breath! I told myself. It’s the just the coffee taking hold. Your adrenaline glands are probably the size of lemons right now…Holy Flute! On stage a misshapen serpent was slithering through billows of mist and forest. “Run little Tamino, run!” I almost shouted. More frightening than the chase scene unravelling before me was the fact that the children in the audience were laughing. “What’s wrong with you people? What do you teach your children?! There is a small hominoid on stage that is about to be devoured by a Jurassic throwback! We must save him!” I realised my behaviour was drawing attention so instead I returned to my seat, and sat rocking backwards and forwards on the bouncy little chairs while watching this strange pantomime of sinister simulacra, obscure Masonic symbolism and dubious love triangles unfurl on the HD TV set-sized stage.

If these soulless effigies represent the height of European culture, I don’t want any part of it. Give me the crime-ridden streets of Hillbrough, give me potholes and poverty over the mystical horrors of Mozart’s subconscious in the depths of a caffeine overdose any day. And the worst part of it is, ladies and gentlemen, Mev Van Rensburg, after that sort of trauma, keeping down Torte is next to impossible.

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
3 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Tlhologelo K Magolela
Why Judgment Must Happen Before J...

Could it be that the Judgment of God happen before the second coming? If that is the case, then what are the implications to us as humans? or maybe this could just be a chance?  Read more...

108 comments 837 views
Submitted by
Villiers Steyn
Eleven years later and still ridi...

In December 2003 my brother, Francois, and I did a three week-long road trip through South Africa in our little UNO Mia. On the third last day, in the Kruger National Park, we came across the most incredible sighting… Read more...

0 comments 202 views
Submitted by
Chemag
State of Health Address

South Africa is faced with a high rate of TB, Prevention-of-mother-to-child-transfer of HIV, HIV infections, High Blood Pressure diseases, Antibiotics Resistance Challenges, Side-effects as a result of wrong medicines dispensed.  Read more...

1 comments 47 views
Submitted by
Tugwana
Budget 2015

The budget tabled yesterday by the Minister of Finance confirms that a lot is going wrong in this country (if hasn’t already).  Read more...

3 comments 411 views
Submitted by
Moses Mbunge
On the Job publication by Reginal...

The author of the above-mentioned article is fully supported, by that, the same sentiments are echoed.  Read more...

0 comments 42 views
Submitted by
Moses Mbunge
Basics for preparing better candi...

The main intention is alleviate poverty and create a better socio-economic position - the question is, how could this be achieved? Read more...

0 comments 115 views

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

Deal of the week!

Petrol generators from R1399, save up to R350. While stocks last. Shop now!

30% off Pampers!

Save 30% when you buy 3 or more selected pampers products. While stocks last. Shop now!

This week only - 30% off books!

Get 30% off when you buy 2 or more books. Many titles to choose from. While stocks last. Shop now!

New range of Samsung smartphones!

Samsung Galaxy A3, A5 and Alpha now available at kalahari.com. while stocks last. Shop now!

Buy 3 eBooks & only pay for 2!

The cheapest of the 3 titles will be free. Many more titles to choose from. While stocks last. Shop now!

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2015 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.




Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.