The problem with modern feminism is the inability of this political and social movement to effectively adapt to the differing expectations of women. Women are caught in the relentlessly changing cultural expectations. Career? Family? Marriage? Independence? Feminism seems to only present one answer – career and independence at the cost of marriage, healthy relationships with men, family. Yet when an woman’s biological urges for procreation and domesticity surface (as they almost always do), the women are caught in an ugly vice. The jaws on one side are the needs to be a wife (and possibly mother) the jaws on the other are the feminist ideals of career and independence. Women lack the cultural and emotional sophistication to deal with this.
Feminism also teaches women that men are the enemy, that we are brutish and foul creatures whose only point in life is to subjugate women with our sexual urges. So, the lesson continues, there can be no compromise with the enemy for that is losing the battle. What about women who want to make their man happy? That would be treasonous to the cause! When women get together to compare notes, the peer pressure is not about happy relationships, but more about swapping stories of how they acquired the trappings of status regardless of state of their relationships. There is almost glee when women denigrate their boyfriends and husbands. “Oh, I really don’t care about making him happy, as long as have my (insert status symbol here)”.
The worst lessons of feminism – and the lessons that almost all women have learned too well – is that women deserve it all without commensurate levels of sacrifice. It is the lesson that compromise is weakness. It is the lesson that they deserve affluence, the perfect family, the perfect man, and a life of entitlement without any cost to her.
Men know better. We knew that there is no “having it all”. There is no free lunch. We know that corporate success requires great sacrifice. Friends, relationships, hobbies, all play second fiddle to the climb up the corporate ladder. This we know. This we accept. We know that being an involved father usually means not getting all the promotions at work. Frustratingly, women have not learned this lesson. So, they vent their frustrations at home and in the workplace, making for both difficult colleagues and second-rate mothers.
Feminism cannot accept that women cannot both be strong and independent while at the same time being the perpetual victim. Oh righteous feminist, which is it? Are women strong? Or are they weak? Do we hold open to door for the strong female executive? Do we not help a mother with young children by helping her with her grocery bags? You, righteous feminist, have recast the cultural rules yet you refuse to follow them. Is it any wonder why so many millions of men eschew marriage and relationships with women? Can you not see the unintended consequences of your actions? Perhaps we are asking too much of you.
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