PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Rudi Massyn
 
Comments: 5
Article views: 592
 
 
Latest Badges:


 
View all Rudi Massyn's badges.
 

Fickle etiquette, ancient chivalry or just plain manners

31 December 2013, 14:47

Reading an article on the invention of the revolving door and its ties to confusion in etiquette I started to ponder the relevance as well as the prevalence of acts of chivalry and etiquette in modern society against their connection to kindness.

Personally I enjoy opening the door for my girlfriend. I pride myself in it, although I don’t do it as often as I should, I am sure she appreciates it.

“No, please, you can go, I don’t mind.”

Are chivalry and kindness synonymous?

An article written by Kelsey Lueptow on a feminist website, Everyday Feminism, says it is important to understand that kindness and chivalry are not the same thing.

“It is frequently assumed that feminist women want to do everything for themselves. As a single mother/student/waitress/feminist, I can tell you that is not at all the case. It is really nice when people pitch in here or there. And when I have the chance to help other people, I embrace that as well. I’m all about kindness.

That is: We, too – feminists! – also want guys to be nice to women.

But we also want men to be nice to other men, and women to be nice to men, and women to be nice to women!

And inherently, that isn’t defined as “chivalrous.”

The author makes a valid point. Surely our belief in politeness or adherence to childhood manners should transcend gender boundaries.

When I pull the chair out for my girlfriend at a restaurant I don’t consider the historical relevance. The thought doesn’t even cross my mind. Is that a problem in itself? Do I just assume my girlfriend appreciates my deed? Should I be pulling out chairs all around the table, for everybody?

My girlfriend has been able to pull out her own chair since she was a toddler, as I suppose so can many of us. I’m not doing it to belittle her, I’m doing it to make her feel special.

I think it is important not to confuse chivalry and common decency. The idea of chivalry and its historical significance upsets people, and to me, that defeats the point of the act.

The fundamental message remains – be kind to everyone, no matter what their gender.

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
5 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
CandK
The pearls of an Atheist Easter

I have an extended family that are Christian, and we are not talking the love they neighbour, forgive your mates and do the right thing, of the good old bishop Tutu kind. Read more...

201 comments 1992 views
Submitted by
Makate Rapulana
The colour of corruption

The word "corruption" is without doubt the most (ab)used and politicised word in South Africa.  Read more...

45 comments 1007 views
Submitted by
Makate Rapulana
Who is watching the watchdog?

The late chief justice Pius Langa once averred: “I think judges should have a thick skin. We work in public, we give our judgments in public, and we give reasons for those judgments." Read more...

7 comments 338 views
Submitted by
Narian Chengiah Naidoo
A Civilized Society

Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. said, "Taxes are what we pay for a civilized society." Those words carry value and meaning only if "civilized" is understood as being good, happy and beneficial to all citizens. Read more...

9 comments 582 views
Submitted by
Rodney Bevan
SA under Zuma

Jacob Zuma, along with a handful of cronies has single handedly almost destroyed the country, its people and its economy. Read more...

38 comments 3040 views
Submitted by
The Fox 5366
Illegal Miners: Voiceless Prostit...

There's been a lot said about legalising prostitution so that prostitutes can be protected, receive healthcare and not be victimised. Read more...

11 comments 744 views

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Escape winter, head to Mauritius

Escape winter by spending 7 nights in Mauritius' tropical bliss from R13 215 per person sharing. Includes return flights, airport transfers and accommodation. Book now!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

Get many eggs in one basket!

Gaming bundles: 2 Super Hits games for R99, 3 Disney games for R99 and more + exclusive accessory bundles only available on kalahari.com. While stocks last. Shop now!

25% off bestselling books!

The Real Meal Revolution by Tim Noakes, Jeffrey Archer’s Be Careful What You Wish for, Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor E. Frank and many more titles. Shop now!

Up to 25% off electronics

Buy top electronics and save up to 25%. Such as kalahari.com’s 1# selling product the gobii eReader, Patriot X Porter flash drive, Asus Nexus 7” 3G tablet, Samsung Galaxy SIII, Lenovo G580 Notebook and many more. Shop now!

DStv HD PVR Decoder now R949

The DStv HD PVR Decoder has further revolutionised the television experience with lifelike viewing, sharper images, more vibrant colours and precision picture quality. Now R949, save R550. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

Up to 30% off appliances & homeware

Save up to 30% on appliances and homeware this Easter! Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now.

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

Samsung Galaxy s4

Mobile, Cell Phones in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 24

Best bargain in big bay

Real Estate, Houses - Apartments for Sale in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

VW Golf 6, 1.6 Trendline (Excellent condition)

Vehicles, Cars in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Digital Media & Marketing Association
 
© 2014 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.








Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.