PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Duits
 
Comments: 11
Article views: 775
 
 
Latest Badges:

 
View all Duits's badges.
 

Fifty Sheds of Grey

22 February 2013, 09:00

I received this sometime ago from a friend, I thought it very funny and after a rough week would like to share this with you.

The novel “Fifty Shades Of Grey” has seduced women – and baffled blokes. Now, Fifty Sheds Of Grey, offers a treat for the men. The book has author Colin Grey recounting his love encounters at the bottom of the garden. Here are some extracts...
 
Fifty Sheds Of Grey


We tried various positions – round the back, on the side, up against a wall...
but in the end we came to the conclusion the bottom of the garden was the only place for a good shed.

She stood before me, trembling in my shed.
“I’m yours for the night,” she gasped, “You can do whatever you want with me.”
So I took her to Builders Warehouse.


She knelt before me on the shed floor and tugged gently at first, then harder until finally it came.
I moaned with pleasure. Now for the other boot.


Ever since she read THAT book, I’ve had to buy all kinds of ropes, chains and shackles.
She still manages to get into the shed, though.


“Put on this rubber suit and mask,” I instructed, calmly.
“Mmmm, kinky!” she purred.
“Yes,” I said, “You can’t be too careful with all that asbestos in the shed roof.”


“I’m a very naughty girl,” she said, biting her lip. “I need to be punished.”
So I invited my mum to stay for the weekend.


“Harder!” she cried, gripping the workbench tightly. “Harder!”
“Okay,” I said. “What’s the gross national product of Nicaragua?”


I lay back exhausted, gazing happily out of the shed window.
Despite my concerns about my inexperience, my rhubarb had come up a treat.


“Are you sure you can take the pain?” she demanded, brandishing stilettos.
“I think so,” I gulped. “Here we go, then,” she said, and showed me the receipt.


“Hurt me!” she begged, raising her skirt as she bent over my workbench.
“Very well,” I replied. “You’ve got fat ankles and no dress sense.”


“Are you sure you want this?” I asked. “When I’m done, you won’t be able to sit down for weeks.”
She nodded.
“Okay,” I said, putting the three-piece lounge suite on eBay.


“Punish me!” she cried. “Make me suffer like only a real man can!”
“Very well,” I replied, leaving the toilet seat up.


Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
11 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Mancha Wa Ga Mashilo
Are South Africans enough on thei...

We live in South Africa where giving the land to rightful owner is perceived to lead to poverty. Read more...

19 comments 630 views
Submitted by
Herman Cummings
The Truth of Genesis: A Question...

Considering the previous three chapters, where does all this lead to?  Read more...

20 comments 225 views
Submitted by
Visko
The Gods and I

I was brought up in an Afrikaanse family during the 50s, who were members of the "Nederduidse Gereformeerde Kerk", one of three sister churches in South Africa.  Read more...

15 comments 238 views
Submitted by
Victor
Is there an afterlife?

It is indeed a very intriguing question because every single one of us will die. While none of us has any choose in being born and in dying we would like to know: what, if anything, awaits us and our loved ones afterwards.  Read more...

169 comments 2083 views
Submitted by
Neil Ross
Let the Van Riebeeck statue stay ...

You all know the statue of old Jan van Riebeeck? The one everybody wants to pull down? He’s the same Jan van Riebeeck whose face used to grace our old South African bank notes. Read more...

9 comments 901 views
Submitted by
Helga Van Niekerk
Tribute to Rudi van Breda

Rudi van Breda lost his life in a savage attack at his home in Stellenbosch on the night of the 26th/27th January 2015. His parents were also killed that night.  Read more...

5 comments 4420 views
 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2015 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.




Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.