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Forgiving Monday for turning over a new leaf

25 February 2013, 16:00

The alarm chimes.  I awake and the start of a new week waits for us all. The start of a new year is celebrated like a birthday for us all. I find it strange how we, as humans, embrace any thought of a second chance. We all enjoy the notion of a ‘clean slate’, a chance to apply some course correction, a chance to right the wrongs and set new goals to reach a better sense of self.

The new week is not greeted with the same joy as a new year; I guess having 52 chances in a year to start afresh is simply too many chances. Monday’s are far less welcomed. I imagine that if “Monday” was personified, it would be a timid; self-loathing creature queued up behind taxes and dreaded diseases at the psychologist’s room screaming, “Everybody hates me!” In the other corner, we would probably have ice-cream, winning lottery tickets and an egotistical, narcissistic Friday; all fighting amongst one another about who is more sought after and loved. 

That’s the world that we live in nowadays; we all want to be wanted and similarly, we all love second chances, amongst other notions. Regarding second chances, this ties in another ‘want’ in society today, forgiveness.  Sometimes in order to take the full effect of a second chance, we need forgiveness to ultimately let go of the ties and failures holding us back from the first chance. We can obtain forgiveness from others and sometimes even more daunting is to obtain forgiveness from ourselves. It is almost like in the world of today, we need permission.

Permission from others to say, “It is okay, you have suffered enough. You may now forgive yourself.” In the past, confessions at the local Catholic church were probably busier than today. Today, it seems like the psychologist has stolen some of the churches customers. The psychologist’s couch has become the modern-day confessional. Perhaps forgiveness is so sought after because it is so necessary to ‘move-on’, to find that ever eluding closure. Why would others at times so opposed to giving forgiveness to others? After all it does not cost very much in a monetary sense.

The bears relevance as at times, we are seen as materialistic society composed of haves and have not’s. So often, we hear the phrase; “I have forgiven, but not yet forgotten.” Is this true forgiveness? The reason I presume that we say this is simply two-fold. Firstly, when we forgive, I think we are so afraid that people may take our forgiveness as a green-light to say that what has happened is “okay” and we tend to keep the use of that stamp of approval for the rarest of occasions. However, on the contrary, we do not have limited ink or stamp usage. The more the stamp is used; it will not become any less relevant. Secondly, the offended usually holds a little ‘power’ over the wrong-doer when we are wronged.

The notion that the offender feels ‘bad’ in some way and we hold the antidote to make that person feel better, gives us a certain sense of power. For the society that we are in, I guess that would make sense.  However, much like with everything in life, there is a ‘terms and conditions’ applicable. We can’t hold this power forever, soon enough if we hold the power, it will keep this power – at some mysterious point, its value begins to diminish more and more from every passing day and hour. It is almost like a game of tennis in someway or perhaps the cliché can be used, the tables have turned.

Forgiveness should be treated like a blue chip on the stock exchange during a global crisis. Holding on for too long will leave us actually being the one holding something worthless, passed its sell-by date. Whereas, giving the forgiveness sooner rather than later, will seem like we are giving something highly priced to the receiver and giving our own souls the deserved feeling of enlightenment. The reason is if we don’t forgive the offender, the offender will sought the forgiveness elsewhere whether that is through self, psychologist, medication, religion or other.

Also forgiveness is not something that is done by a number of gold coins that is limited. We are indeed able to share are give forgiveness away as easy as a sincere compliment to a loved one of a sunny Sunday morning. Maybe as a piece of motivation to forgive to the more egotistical one’s of us out there, the longer we hold on to the wronged action which we experienced, the longer we are also held down by that person or action. Best advice is always going to be to let it go and move on, yet this is not something that we can only allow ourselves to do on the 31st of December each year.

As I look around, the world has indeed changed. The needs and wants of society and individuals are indeed very different to what they once were. On our daily routes to work and other, a red traffic light is no longer a simple traffic law. Nowadays, this has changed to what seems like a blue ‘small-f’ which is strikingly familiar to the facebook logo. People have embraced this as the idea opportunity to tell the world in the greatest superlatives imaginable about what kind of a day they are having. Yes, we all care. Or not. 

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