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Freedom Day: Made to Order

25 April 2012, 08:20

Friday, the 27th of April, will see Freedom Day celebrations in this country. Once again the day will be celebrated by the usual rent-a-T-shirt crowd; who will sing and listen to their ANC-leaders’ stories of the struggle. Very few whites will be participating – as usual – and with good reason.

It is a well known fact that a fish is the only creature that keeps on growing after it is dead. Should you doubt this piece of information, just ask any fisherman to tell you the story of the biggest fish he’s ever caught. Invariably he will use his hands to show the size of the fish. Now, wait a few months, and ask him to repeat the story. You will notice that the distance between his hands will have increased quite a bit. This is because the fish has continued growing since the last telling of the tale. Do you see?

Very similar to the fishy tale above, is the accolades and praise that is bestowed by the ANC politicians upon the “struggle heroes” on Freedom Day each year. As time goes by, the exploits and heroic deeds of those “Who Fought in the Trenches,” just continue to grow and grow. Like the dead fish.

But first, let me draw a parallel to a story that portrays the rise to power of the communist ANC so beautifully. You guessed it – Animal Farm:

After the animals had driven Mr. Jones (apartheid) off Animal Farm for the second time, they all assembled in the wildest excitement – each recounting his own exploits in the battle at the top of his voice. An impromptu celebration of the victory was held. (Sorry, no free T-shirts or food parcels were handed out.)

Snowball the pig, (their leader) made a speech; emphasising the need for all animals to be ready to die for Animal Farm if need be. (Sounds familiar?) A flag was run up and “Beast of England,” (similar to “Kill the Boer”) was sung.

The animals then decided to create a military decoration, “Animal Hero, First Class.” (Similar to the “Order of Mapungubwe, Class 1,” awarded to those who have successfully grown Baobab trees in pots, under government contract.)

There was also “Dead Animal Hero, Second Class,” which was conferred posthumously on dead sheep that have been killed in the battle till they died from it.

After much discussion, the animals decided that the battle was to be called the “Battle of the Cowshed” – much like the “Struggle for Freedom,” and that it was to be celebrated once a year outside the Union Buildings.

But let’s go back to our own farm: Mzanzi Farm.

Some 30-odd national orders are to be bestowed on citizens and members of the international community on Freedom Day. It would seem as if the pigs (ANC) are finding it increasingly difficult to unearth suitable candidates on which to confer their awards – many orders are bestowed posthumously. With corruption, mismanagement, and shady deals dogging the party, their heroes are indeed few. This year the list even includes deceased United States politician Edward Moore Kennedy; an unscrupulous blackguard, if ever there was one. (Not bodyguard, dummy – blackguard!)

I printed a list of this year’s recipients and passed it along at work, and to people I know, to see how many of the awardees were known to them. It would seem as if my fellow Mzanzians are not too clued up on those who are about to be “ordered.” See how many you know.

National Orders Awards:

Neil Sharrocks, Michael Janse van Rensburg, Gladys Agulhas, Jonathan Clegg, Muthal Naidoo, Joseph Thloloe, Daniel Watson, Julian Bahula, Selwyn Levin, Gladys Ramahuta, Zane Wilson, Daniel Krige, Fenner Kadalie, Christopher Dugard, Frank Dutton, Lwandle Magadla, John Gomas, Elizabeth Honman, Peter Mokaba, Josiah Gumede, Zaccheus Mahabane, Sefako Makgatho, James Moroka, Alfred Xuma, Barry Schoub, Albert Luthuli, Oliver Tambo, Apollon Davidson, Randall Robinson, Edward Kennedy.

Here’s the score sheet:

0 to 5 Answers correct – You are white.

5 to 10 Answers correct – You cheated in class.

10 to 20 Answers correct – You are a sheep.

30 Answers correct – You are a pig!

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