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Friend of faux?

27 February 2013, 11:00

Making new friends has never been a challenge for me. If I find myself in a new environment or amongst strangers, I adapt swiftly, open up and am as friendly as can be. How else will we meet new people, make acquaintances or if we are lucky, make new friends if we are not open to new things and experiences? Since high school I’ve always had a large group of friends. I was the kid who hung out with different cliques all the time and could easily navigate my way through assorted topics of conversation, fun activities and what to do over the weekends.

While in university my friendships organically became deeper, more emotional and definitely more complexed. Adapting to a semi grown up life post high school means that you go through tough and perplexing times while adjusting and getting used to studying independently, being able to make plans and come and go as you please. During this time you subconsciously put your friendships through various tests and gradually the strongest, most genuine manages to survive.

I’ve been fortunate enough to live abroad and experience different cultures, backgrounds and religions. What I value most from this is the fact that I now understand, can respect and appreciate the diversity of my friends and friendships. Only recently have I learnt that one cannot assume that your friends will treat you, like you deserve to be treated. Just because you respect and appreciate diversity and honest values, might not be the case vice versa.

Making decisions as an adult means you are responsible and accountable for the outcome of it. You can only hope that your friends will support you and respect your decision enough to understand how important it is to you and sometimes how difficult that decision was to make.  Its not about getting their approval that makes you happy, but having them support you as an individual that makes all the difference.

I guess I am a little naïve to think that friends automatically support you in life, love and everything in between. But some judge you or to tell you what to do AND how to do it.

I Google’d the definition of friend and found that friendship is a relationship between two or more people who hold mutual affection for one another. I found this definition to be very vague. Lets take a closer look at the word affection:

Affection is a state of mind of loving or caring for another person. It is predominantly emotional, not physical. Affection denotes to something that is more than goodwill or friendship.

I consider myself an affectionate, care for; support and most importantly respect other’s type of person. I know that I make a really good friend. But, is it unrealistic of me to expect the same in return from someone calling him or herself my friend?

When do you know if your friend is real or a faux? 

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