In days gone by I wouldn’t think twice about saying or doing 90% of the things I do and say.
Nowadays however, I find myself second guessing so many of my actions, that I let far too many moments in time slip by. Or I just over think them so much, that the pressure overwhelms me and I chicken out.
Movie moments don’t often pan out in real life, in fact they almost never do.
Traveling on the train presents a number of such moments.
What I’d like to offer now is my feelings on five seemingly charming gestures that may cross the line into creepy.
1. Making eye contact and exchanging a smile, or even a hello, with someone on the train with you is seemingly a pure moment of chance. The instant your eyes lock, you have a split second to create a moment of pure bliss. If you miss that moment…walk away and live to charm another day. Do not continue staring at the person until they look at you. If you are uncertain as to how to time the exchanged glance, you can use said person’s reflection in the window as a guideline. Also do not start smiling at them before you make eye contact, unless you want to be mistaken for The Joker.
2. As a guy who prides himself on being complimented on wearing a good cologne, women will often appreciate the same sentiment from a guy. Whether its their perfume or hair or even a good lotion that makes them smell finer than an ocean breeze of unicorns. Use this compliment when standing next to or sitting next to a woman. The only time it should not be used is when you are caught smelling a woman front behind on the escalators or in the process of cutting off a lock of their hair.
3. An old favorite of mine is opening a door for a lady, or allowing them to enter first. It’s something I always do, and I always feel good inside when I’m told they wish there were more gentlemen like me out there. When using lifts however, choose your moments correctly or you might end up being seen as a shepherd loading the lift full of livestock. Also, if it is raining, allowing her to go first can be misinterpreted as using her as a shield against the elements. So please pick your moments!
4. The other day I passed a girl on the train a note saying she looked very nice that day. I had seen her earlier in the morning and didn’t have the courage to tell her to her face, but promised myself if I saw her again in the evening I would let her know. The note method can be used in a variety of circumstances, including the “high school double pass” note where you ask someone sitting close to the recipient to pass on the note, the “windshield” note if you are lucky enough to know what car they drive, and of course the “don’t open this till you get to work” note. Important tips to adhere to – never use the note system on a rainy day as you run the risk of ink running causing love notes to be misunderstood as ransom notes. Never pre-type your notes on your home computer and print them out. Rather keep a notepad in your bag should a moment to use them arise.
5. The “so we meet again” method is the hardest of all to make believable. Bumping into the same person often is not all kismet as its cracked up to be. However don’t over do it! Play the patience game, if you see someone more than 3 or 4 times over a 10 trip a week scheduled its too much! If you are required to pull a Usain Bolt in order to catch the same train as someone, you will only be left breathless and unable to converse for the entire journey. Plus heavy breathing and sweat stains are a sure way to turn them off. Acceptable “cheats” are waiting an additional 3 trains to see if you’re lucky enough to catch the “same train” as your person of interest. You may want to add a minimum of 1 hour to your traveling schedule. Also try and engage in revealing conversation any time you have chats with your desirable. Get her to tell you what shift she may be working that week, or what functions she may be attending. This will help increase your odds of chance meetings.
These are rules I live by every day…which may explain why I’m so exhausted by the end of each day, and I’m sure there is an easier way to meet women…but until then, those 10 to 15 minutes I occasionally get to spend with hot train girls, make it all worth it.