PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
GonzoMike
 
Comments: 6
Article views: 543
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all GonzoMike's badges.
 

Global Elite Kill Irony

12 June 2012, 14:57

Given the response to my previous article, I fear it is true. Irony is dead. Destroyed, I am sure, by the very same unimaginative suits that are slowly turning the world into a giant shopping centre. White Capitalists perhaps, or maybe the Media Moguls.  Who else would have the evil omnipotence to rid the world of a complex literary device? Particularly one as potentially upsetting to their structured worldview as irony. Sarcasm will follow shortly and last to go, unless we hold onto it with every iota of strength and cunning that we have left after long days of punching information into the grinding cogs of their blasphemous machinery, will be our collective sense of humor; sucked through that giant foil pipe that they have aimed right at our heads as we speak. If you have already constructed an aluminum hat under the false assumption that your brainwaves will be left unaltered, think again. I was wearing mine while watching an old John Vlismas stand-up routine just the other day and I didn’t laugh once; a sure sign that they have updated their technology to bypass the reflective properties of aluminum. Still, brave soldiers, we must defend our ability to laugh at ourselves and others at all costs.

There was a time when irony was the acceptable failsafe mechanism for social faux pas’.  For example:

You’re sitting at a table dining with a group of potential clients/female suitors/police officers and you are asked, “Do you smoke, Archibald?”

“Only crack,” you reply in a clumsy attempt at humor to diffuse some of the nervous energy remaining after that mysterious pervasive smell of cabbage has finally subsided, “but hey, at least it’s not heroin! “

This is followed either by the awkward sounds of cutlery clinking on plates or the awkward sounds of guns being drawn if you chose the third option above. “What kind of deranged fool are we dealing with here?” their eyes say.

“I’m kidding, I was just being ironic,” you would say as a last ditch attempt to regain social composure. You might even burst into raucous laughter to encourage your fellow diners to do the same, possibly follow it with “Got ya!” coupled with a fraternal jab at the shoulder nearest you. Instantly the mood would be lifted, the women might pick up their glasses, not quite sure what to make of you, but subtly intrigued. The cops would holster their guns, preferably not intrigued at all, and dinner would continue in a polite and mild vain.

If your lack of social etiquette requires a casual reliance on the use of irony as an excuse for your words or actions, your days are numbered. The very same polite diners, troubled heavily by the world’s problems, will turn on you like a pit of hungry pet snakes. You’ll be crucified and your entrails will be hung in the corners of the restaurant by kitchen hooks to serve as a reminder to other diners what happens to those foolish enough to indulge in ironic rhetoric.

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
6 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Danie Strijdom
AIDS, Acronyms and Game Theory

Last night I attended an interesting event hosted by a society I belong to. Our speaker was a young virologist, Dr Britta Flach, who told us all about the HIV virus and how finding a vaccine for HIV has been a very tough road to navigate for scientists working in the field.  Read more...

2 comments 289 views
Submitted by
Wayne Russell
Consequences for misbehaviour

I attended primary and high school in the Eastern Cape. I remember receiving jacks from teachers and administrators until Grade 10. Not many smacks, but enough to recall a few. Read more...

11 comments 1063 views
Dat Plane in Ukraine, Putin & a C...

As a last word... I crack myself up! Hysteria is the only option. Read more...

21 comments 465 views
Submitted by
Rools
Submitted by
Soka Mthembu
Submitted by
Lion87
A Letter to Danny Jordaan

The administration are so incompetent it makes the ANC seem like the excellence of the Swiss!  Read more...

17 comments 2252 views

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Magical Massinga

Spend 5 nights at the gorgeous Massinga Beach Lodge in Mozambique and only pay for 4 from R13 220 per person sharing. Includes return flights, accommodation, transfers and romantic turndown. Book now!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

Up to 60% off - clearance sale!

Save up to 60% on appliances, books, electronics, toys, movies and more. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

Deal of the Week!

Get bestselling John Green novels now just R99 each! Hurry and get yours while stocks last. Shop here.

Mind blowing deals on beauty & fragrances

Save up to 30% off beauty and fragrances. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

Up to 50% off hair care products!

Save up to 50% on professional hair care products at kalahari.com. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

30% off academic books

Score a mind blowing 30% off academic books! Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

Samsung Galaxy s4

Mobile, Cell Phones in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 24

Best bargain in big bay

Real Estate, Houses - Apartments for Sale in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

VW Golf 6, 1.6 Trendline (Excellent condition)

Vehicles, Cars in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2014 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.








Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.