PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
GonzoMike
 
Comments: 6
Article views: 543
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all GonzoMike's badges.
 

Global Elite Kill Irony

12 June 2012, 14:57

Given the response to my previous article, I fear it is true. Irony is dead. Destroyed, I am sure, by the very same unimaginative suits that are slowly turning the world into a giant shopping centre. White Capitalists perhaps, or maybe the Media Moguls.  Who else would have the evil omnipotence to rid the world of a complex literary device? Particularly one as potentially upsetting to their structured worldview as irony. Sarcasm will follow shortly and last to go, unless we hold onto it with every iota of strength and cunning that we have left after long days of punching information into the grinding cogs of their blasphemous machinery, will be our collective sense of humor; sucked through that giant foil pipe that they have aimed right at our heads as we speak. If you have already constructed an aluminum hat under the false assumption that your brainwaves will be left unaltered, think again. I was wearing mine while watching an old John Vlismas stand-up routine just the other day and I didn’t laugh once; a sure sign that they have updated their technology to bypass the reflective properties of aluminum. Still, brave soldiers, we must defend our ability to laugh at ourselves and others at all costs.

There was a time when irony was the acceptable failsafe mechanism for social faux pas’.  For example:

You’re sitting at a table dining with a group of potential clients/female suitors/police officers and you are asked, “Do you smoke, Archibald?”

“Only crack,” you reply in a clumsy attempt at humor to diffuse some of the nervous energy remaining after that mysterious pervasive smell of cabbage has finally subsided, “but hey, at least it’s not heroin! “

This is followed either by the awkward sounds of cutlery clinking on plates or the awkward sounds of guns being drawn if you chose the third option above. “What kind of deranged fool are we dealing with here?” their eyes say.

“I’m kidding, I was just being ironic,” you would say as a last ditch attempt to regain social composure. You might even burst into raucous laughter to encourage your fellow diners to do the same, possibly follow it with “Got ya!” coupled with a fraternal jab at the shoulder nearest you. Instantly the mood would be lifted, the women might pick up their glasses, not quite sure what to make of you, but subtly intrigued. The cops would holster their guns, preferably not intrigued at all, and dinner would continue in a polite and mild vain.

If your lack of social etiquette requires a casual reliance on the use of irony as an excuse for your words or actions, your days are numbered. The very same polite diners, troubled heavily by the world’s problems, will turn on you like a pit of hungry pet snakes. You’ll be crucified and your entrails will be hung in the corners of the restaurant by kitchen hooks to serve as a reminder to other diners what happens to those foolish enough to indulge in ironic rhetoric.

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
6 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Ryan Blom
Bedford Centre Robbery

I would imagine Bedford Centre brings in tens of millions each month - why can they not afford proper security and measures to ensure the safety of their clients? Read more...

6 comments 618 views
Submitted by
CraigJoseph
Shouldering the blame...

It is with great disgust that we have learnt about the actual financial cost of corruption over the last 20 years. Read more...

3 comments 140 views
Submitted by
woadstress
Looking deeper

The next time you are having a bad day, when things are not going as you planned, take a moment to look around you, look at random people from all walks of life and social status and fantasise.  Read more...

0 comments 31 views
Submitted by
The Scribe
Dear Eskom

While we understand that there are problems with the supply of electricity, we, your PAYING PUBLIC, are really getting sick and tired of the on again off again state of our electricity supply. Read more...

13 comments 190 views
Submitted by
Craig Pedersen
What's a few billion between frie...

In the time it takes you to read this - around 10 RDP houses could have been built with the amount of money that the government has lost to corruption. Read more...

40 comments 2647 views
Submitted by
MarkH
Stupid South Africans

I am constantly surprised by many things in SA - even though I no longer should be - and the garbage spouted by ANC/Government MP’s and their spokesmen figures prominently here. Read more...

12 comments 2302 views

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

Save up to 40% on outdoor accessories!

Tents, sleeping, day packs and more. While stocks last. Shop now!

Month End Madness Sale!

Save up to 60% on across a wide range of goods from books to electronics, DVDs and many more. Sale end 31 January 2015. Shop now!

Valentine’s Day gifts – 14 Feb!

Gifts to spoil him and her. While stocks last. Shop now!

30% off fragrances

Get 30% off fragrances for him and her. While stocks last. Shop now!

Up to 30% off All Textbooks

Save up to 30% off an extensive range of prescribed textbooks for all major universities and FET colleges. Shop Now!

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2015 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.




Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.