MyNews24 is a user-generated section of The stories here come from users.

Koos Luerre
Comments: 30
Article views: 936
Latest Badges:

View all Koos Luerre's badges.

God: 8 failed attempts and counting...

31 March 2014, 09:55

Plan A

God creates H.Sapiens for the sole purpose to worship and praise him 24/7. This flattery was to take place in a paradise where H.Sapiens was to live in peace, happiness and wonderfulness forever and ever. But Eve stuffs that up. New Plan.

Plan B

Saves everybody by telling them to be righteous, but initially neglected to define “righteous”. So sin again overtakes the world. New Plan.

Plan C

God gives people free will and then drowns everyone (except one righteous man and his family) in a flood for not acting the ways he wanted. Once that’s done, saves everybody by telling them to be righteous (not like those fools killed in the flood). But sin again overtakes the world. New Plan.

Plan D

Mixes up the languages. By creating more languages people will be inspired to be righteous. Why? Because hocus polony something. But sin again overtakes the world. New Plan.

Plan E

God gives up on saving EVERYBODY. From now on God chooses to concentrate on one guy and his family: Abraham and his descendants. But something problematic happens which I can’t recall right now. New Plan.

Plan F

God gives up on saving ALL of Abraham’s descendants and will concentrate on Jacob (one of Abraham’s grandsons). Jacob has 12 sons who become the 12 Tribes of Israel. God will concentrate on saving them. After a while he gets around to giving them “The Law” — so now they actually know what “righteous” is. So there shouldn’t be any more stuff-ups. But God forgets to put a bell around the necks of 10 of these tribes and loses them. New Plan.

Plan G

Unable to find 10 of his chosen tribes, God combines the 2 remaining and calls them Judah. From now on, God will concentrate on saving the Jews. But then God impregnates a teenage girl without actually doing it and fathers himself. New Plan

Plan H

Once alive, God planned to kill himself as a sacrifice to himself to save all of H.Sapiens from the sin he originally condemned them to. From now on, God will concentrate on saving ALL people who accept his son as the one and only saviour of mankind. The rationale is to save his own creations from God himself. But his followers are confused and created some 33000 denominations / cults. New Plan

Plan I

God is busy planning a trip to come back some time soon. The mission is to save the righteous followers of the correct cult and to smite the followers of the incorrect cults with a special place he created: a fiery eternal hell.

But he loves us.

The most important thing to take from all of this is that Almighty all knowing God is the same from all eternity to all eternity, never changing, and all that — so you can really count on him.

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received. publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
Comments have been closed for this article.

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Daniel Sutherland
What is the real aim and agenda o...

We can not start to understand what their agenda is, before we looked where they started and it began with Chumani Maxwele’s Rhodes must fall campaign. Read more...

0 comments 1352 views
Submitted by
Molifi Tshabalala
Can we trust new Public Protector...

Busisiwe Mkhwebane raises fears that she may be captured, which essentially feeds into the DA’s allegation that she was a spy closed to President Jacob Zuma.  Read more...

0 comments 1963 views
Submitted by
Don Baney
An easy solution to the #feesmust...

Amidst the chaos that is disrupting our tertiary institutions, there is a very easy solution to the frustration that has boiled over into chaos in our tertiary institutions. Read more...

0 comments 1019 views
Submitted by
Tyler Dean Smith
Students and what they want and w...

To the students of South Africa that think that they have been wrongly promised the a free education Read more...

0 comments 1655 views
Submitted by
Lindie Langa
Fees Must Fall No Coincidence nor...

Let me tell you my dearly beloved fellow country men and women, this whole "fees must fall debacle" is not accidental, neither is it purely political or eocio-economic.  Read more...

0 comments 904 views
Submitted by
Enriko Klopper
The not-so-new game of South Afri...

Clicking through the news and trying to compartmentalise all this information is an exhausting task. Especially if you are attempting to remain as objective as humanly possible. Read more...

0 comments 323 views


E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on Android Get the latest from News24 on your Android device.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

TV Get us in your home, on your television.

Interactive Advertising Bureau
© 2016 All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.


Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.

Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire network.


Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.

Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.