PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Koos Delusion
 
Comments: 106
Article views: 1218
 
 
Latest Badges:


 
View all Koos Delusion's badges.
 

God: Eight Failed Attempts ... and counting....

20 November 2012, 09:21

Plan A

God creates H.Sapiens for the sole purpose to worship and praise him 24/7. This flattery was to take place in a paradise where H.Sapiens was to live in peace, happiness and wonderfulness forever and ever. But Eve stuffs that up. New Plan.

Plan B

Saves everybody by telling them to be righteous, but initially neglected to define “righteous”. So sin again overtakes the world. New Plan.

Plan C

God gives people free will and then drowns everyone (except one righteous man and his family) in a flood for not acting the ways he wanted. Once that’s done, saves everybody by telling them to be righteous (not like those fools killed in the flood). But sin again overtakes the world. New Plan.

Plan D

Mixes up the languages. By creating more languages people will be inspired to be righteous. Why? Because hocus polony something. But sin again overtakes the world. New Plan.

Plan E

God gives up on saving EVERYBODY. From now on God chooses to concentrate on one guy and his family: Abraham and his descendants. But something problematic happens which I can’t recall right now. New Plan.

Plan F

God gives up on saving ALL of Abraham’s descendants and will concentrate on Jacob (one of Abraham’s grandsons). Jacob has 12 sons who become the 12 Tribes of Israel. God will concentrate on saving them. After a while he gets around to giving them “The Law” — so now they actually know what “righteous” is. So there shouldn’t be any more stuff-ups. But God forgets to put a bell around the necks of 10 of these tribes and loses them. New Plan.

Plan G

Unable to find 10 of his chosen tribes, God combines the 2 remaining and calls them Judah. From now on, God will concentrate on saving the Jews. But then God impregnates a teenage girl without actually doing it and fathers himself. New Plan

Plan H

Once alive, God planned to kill himself as a sacrifice to himself to save all of H.Sapiens from the sin he originally condemned them to. From now on, God will concentrate on saving ALL people who accept his son as the one and only saviour of mankind. The rationale is to save his own creations from God himself. But his followers are confused and created some 33000 denominations / cults. New Plan

Plan I

God is busy planning a trip to come back some time soon. The mission is to save the righteous followers of the correct cult and to smite the followers of the incorrect cults with a special place he created: a fiery eternal hell.

But he loves us.

The most important thing to take from all of this is that Almighty all knowing God is the same from all eternity to all eternity, never changing, and all that — so you can really count on him.

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
106 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Terrylin Backpackers
The cheque is in the post

"I hear you are in bond collections. What are the latest excuses people are coming up with these days? I've run out of ideas." Read more...

5 comments 978 views
Submitted by
Meta
News in the digital age

How do you think that spreading your hate/bigotry and or intolerance helps anybody? Read more...

13 comments 997 views
Submitted by
Brian Faul
How and why a Dictator is born

One needs to remember looking back in history these hard times is when a dictator is more likely to get born. It is during these hard times that a dictator gets voted into power. Read more...

10 comments 1814 views
Submitted by
Prenisha Naidoo
I will be proactive...

This letter is in response to articles on the death of baby Jamie Naidoo, We have the tendency to be reactive…we wait for something to happen, then suddenly we care, writes a News24 User. Read more...

2 comments 440 views
Submitted by
woadstress
Celebration

Make a list of at least ten things that you can celebrate, and write two or three reasons why you can celebrate those things or events. Read more...

1 comments 156 views
Submitted by
Eric de Castro
Last squeak of the year

 Read more...

13 comments 224 views

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

2DAYS ONLY – 30% off Appliances

Coffee makers, blenders, fans, juicers and more. T&Cs apply. Shop now!

2 DAYS ONLY – 40% off books

Get 40% off when you buy 2 books. For two days only! T&Cs apply. Buy now!

Up to 50% off on outdoor gear

Save on chairs, blankets, cooler bags, umbrellas and more. Shop now!

Save on Samsung

Cameras, mobile phones, TVs, Tablets and more. While stocks last. Shop now!

Grand Theft Auto 5

Now available on PS4, Xbox One and PC from R649. Buy now!

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

Samsung Galaxy s4

Mobile, Cell Phones in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 24

Best bargain in big bay

Real Estate, Houses - Apartments for Sale in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

VW Golf 6, 1.6 Trendline (Excellent condition)

Vehicles, Cars in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2014 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.








Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.