Every time the news breaks about another monumental scandal involving the ‘corruption in charge’, we the people are treated to a sideshow of biblical proportions. The spin machine of the animal farm elite headed by that spiced 'Colon'el Sanders wannabe goes into overdrive and the verbal effluent flows by the bucket load.
It is during this daily occurrence of political excrement that I am reminded of the musings of William Burroughs in “The Naked Lunch” and the following is a party specific adaptation of one of his stories which aptly describes our truth adverse spin doctors.
Did I ever tell you about the party who taught its asshole to talk?
His whole abdomen would move up and down, you dig, farting out the words. It was unlike anything I ever heard.
Bubbly, thick, stagnant sound. A sound you could smell.
This party worked for the people, you dig?
And to start with it was like a novelty ventriloquist act.
After a while, the ass started talking on its own.
He would go into corruption allegations without anything prepared... and his ass would ad-lib and toss the spin back at him every time.
Then it developed sort of Gwede teeth like... little raspy incurving hooks and started eating the party.
The party thought this was cute at first and built an act around it... but the asshole would eat its way through his conferences and start talking on the street... shouting out it wanted equal rights and economic freedom.
It would get drunk, too, and have crying jags.
Nobody loved it. And it wanted to be kissed, same as any other mouthpiece.
Finally, it talked all the time, day and night.
You could hear him for blocks, screaming at it to shut up... beating at it with his fists... and sticking gag orders on it, but... nothing did any good, and the asshole said to him... "It is you who will shut up in the end of Manguang, not me... "Because we don't need you around here anymore. I can talk and eat and shit."
After that, he began waking up in the morning with transparent jelly... like a tadpole's tail all over his mouth.
The party would tear it off its mouth and the pieces would stick to its hands... like burning gasoline jelly and grow there.
So, finally, it’s mouth sealed over... and the whole head... would have amputated spontaneously except for the eyes, you dig? That's the one thing that the asshole couldn't do was see.
It needed the eyes.
Nerve connections were blocked... and infiltrated and atrophied.
So, the brain couldn't give orders anymore.
It was trapped inside Latuli house... sealed off.
For a while, you could see... the silent, helpless suffering of the brain behind the eyes.
And then finally the brain must have died... because the eyes went out... and there was no more feeling in them than a crab's eye at the end of a stalk.
Top spins: Nkandlagate, Textbooks scandal, Arms deal, Every Limpopo tender, 700 plus charges against captain showerhead, Shabir , police chief 1 2 3, etc etc.
I await the next sewage spill, hasmed suit at the ready!