PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
JoeFarmer
 
Comments: 4
Article views: 0
 
 
Latest Badges:


 
View all JoeFarmer's badges.
 

Government's Spin Orifice

09 November 2012, 12:30

Every time the news breaks about another monumental scandal involving the ‘corruption in charge’, we the people are treated to a sideshow of biblical proportions. The spin machine of the animal farm elite headed by that spiced 'Colon'el Sanders wannabe goes into overdrive and the verbal effluent flows by the bucket load.
 It is during this daily occurrence of political excrement that I am reminded of the musings of William Burroughs in “The Naked Lunch” and the following is a party specific adaptation of one of his stories which aptly describes our truth adverse spin doctors.
 Did I ever tell you about the party who taught its asshole to talk?
 His whole abdomen would move up and down, you dig, farting out the words. It was unlike anything I ever heard.
 Bubbly, thick, stagnant sound. A sound you could smell.
 This party worked for the people, you dig?
And to start with it was like a novelty ventriloquist act.
After a while, the ass started talking on its own.
He would go into corruption allegations without anything prepared... and his ass would ad-lib and toss the spin back at him every time.
Then it developed sort of Gwede teeth like... little raspy incurving hooks and started eating the party.
The party thought this was cute at first and built an act around it... but the asshole would eat its way through his conferences and start talking on the street... shouting out it wanted equal rights and economic freedom.
It would get drunk, too, and have crying jags.
Nobody loved it. And it wanted to be kissed, same as any other mouthpiece.
Finally, it talked all the time, day and night.
You could hear him for blocks, screaming at it to shut up... beating at it with his fists... and sticking gag orders on it, but... nothing did any good, and the asshole said to him... "It is you who will shut up in the end of Manguang, not me... "Because we don't need you around here anymore. I can talk and eat and shit."
After that, he began waking up in the morning with transparent jelly... like a tadpole's tail all over his mouth.
The party would tear it off its mouth and the pieces would stick to its hands... like burning gasoline jelly and grow there.
So, finally, it’s mouth sealed over... and the whole head... would have amputated spontaneously except for the eyes, you dig? That's the one thing that the asshole couldn't do was see.
It needed the eyes.
Nerve connections were blocked... and infiltrated and atrophied.
So, the brain couldn't give orders anymore.
It was trapped inside Latuli house... sealed off.
For a while, you could see... the silent, helpless suffering of the brain behind the eyes.
And then finally the brain must have died... because the eyes went out... and there was no more feeling in them than a crab's eye at the end of a stalk.
Top spins:  Nkandlagate, Textbooks scandal, Arms deal, Every Limpopo tender, 700 plus charges against captain showerhead, Shabir , police chief 1 2 3, etc etc.
 I await the next sewage spill, hasmed suit at the ready!

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
4 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Angua Wolf
Has the SA dream failed?

South Africa is like a baby who had a difficult pregnancy, a relatively trouble free birth, and has now developed severe complications. Read more...

11 comments 559 views
Submitted by
Siegfried Walther
Extradition & Human Rights

The objection to foreigners accused of committing crimes in this country receiving preferential treatment to those received by South African awaiting-trial prisoners, is understandable, but misguided. Read more...

0 comments 37 views
Submitted by
Maria Joubert Muller
Fingerprint biometrics at the ATM

People from different walks of life have voiced both positive and negative aspects of the technology, and many biometrics experts have argued both sides of the coin. Read more...

8 comments 272 views
The time of promises has arrived

Let's think carefully before you cross your vote, every vote is important for our next 5 years. The future is in our hands. Read more...

0 comments 41 views
Submitted by
The Scribe
Fake Photoshopped Pictures Fuel U...

My plea today is to all those who share images on social platforms without thinking twice! Read more...

4 comments 1237 views
Submitted by
Guy Alain Lukoki
Your children are not heirs of yo...

Jacob was chosen by God and blessed by his father. He had divine visions and heard the voice of God when he was running from his brother’s wrath.  Read more...

11 comments 295 views

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Escape winter, head to Mauritius

Escape winter by spending 7 nights in Mauritius' tropical bliss from R13 215 per person sharing. Includes return flights, airport transfers and accommodation. Book now!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

Get 50% off selected books!

Buy 2 books and get 50% off the second book. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

Mother’s Day special offers!

Spoil mom with these awesome specials that will warm her heart. Shop now!

Twisp – the smoking alternative

Buy any 2 refills for R250 and save R149. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

25% off bestselling books!

The Real Meal Revolution by Tim Noakes, Jeffrey Archer’s Be Careful What You Wish for, Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor E. Frank and many more titles. Shop now!

Mother’s Day specials on appliances

Browse our range of Mother’s Day appliances to spoil and pamper mom. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

Samsung Galaxy s4

Mobile, Cell Phones in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 24

Best bargain in big bay

Real Estate, Houses - Apartments for Sale in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

VW Golf 6, 1.6 Trendline (Excellent condition)

Vehicles, Cars in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2014 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.








Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.