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Gym Changes Rooms - The Expose'

13 February 2013, 12:00

I have never been a particular fan of going to gym.

Whether it’s the prim and proper Southern Suburbs moms (Who don’t look like they need to be there in the first place) waltzing around in their skin tight fanny huggers, and low cut tops, make up applied as thick as paint. Or the gym bunny guys walking around in wife beaters trying to impress the above category…

When I go to gym, I want to see people that have love handles and wobble when they walk, it motivates me to shed the extra weight I gained from all the Xmas turkey and dessert. No one likes to be dripping in sweat and looking like hell running away on the treadmill while a picture perfect specimen glides away next to you…

Apart from the above that nags at me to no end, im a germophobe, I wash my hands multiple times in a day, refuse to touch hand rails, escalators, parking ticket machines and lift buttons… but going to gym can be a whole other experience that is bound to push me to insanity. The sweat dripping off humans, onto the floors, over the machines, you can feel it in the air… I keep contemplating how much dried sweat is soaked into those machines that test your blood pressure – eeeek.

If by some miracle you happen to survive actually getting through a gym session, you are left with the choice of either going to shower or retrieving your gym bag from the change room, which for me; poses an equally terrifying thought…

The showers in changes rooms are a breeding ground for germs, bacteria and god knows what else. All the bare feet that have stood in their before you washing off their dirt onto the same floor that you are now contemplating standing bare foot on… Helloooo athlete’s foot!

This brings me to my next comment, and im sure im going to have a lot of people disagree with what im saying, and that’s fine, but I have got to get this off my chest…

Guys, for those of you that think that woman’s change rooms involved beautiful, semi or full naked woman, with perfect body’s prancing around brushing each other’s hair, harps and angel music playing in the background, giggling with delight…

Sorry to burst your bubble, the Southern Suburb mom’s go home to shower, and what you are left with is a bunch of rather wobbly whale like creatures, lifting legs revealing ungroomed forest’s, and waves of cellulite.  Naked saggy boobs and bum’s that are way past their sell by date, tend to take forever to put their clothing on. Women seem to prefer to dry their hair, apply fresh make up, and do everything humanly possible to take as long as possible to please for love of mankind put some clothing on!!!!!

What is it that woman seem to care less about their appearance in a change room in front of complete strangers, it’s like they have no ‘skaam’, and while I can appreciate and respect the fact they are okay with prancing around putting their nakedness on display, clearly comfortable with themselves, It shows a complete lack of respect to people like me that don’t want to see that. Its illegal to walk around in public naked, so don’t do it in the damn change rooms. Why can virgin active not create cubicles for woman to change in?!?!?! I try to look away, but on certain days, the huge amount of mirrors needed for vain woman to preen in these change rooms, do not help the situation. Every which way you turn; you are exposed to another naked bum, saggy boob, and unashamed bush! For the record, even if they weren’t saggy, bushy or flabby, and they were in perfect condition, I still wouldn’t want to see it.

So, I guess tonight its back to gym for me, you can bet your boots I’ll be walking straight to the exercise floor and straight out the door… if I want to see naked people, I’ll make my way to mavericks, or Sandy Beach!

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