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Happy Premature April Fool’s Day

30 March 2012, 15:12

The aim of playing an April Fool’s Joke is to get some gullible fool to believe a tall story. Do you fall for it?

Here in Zumania – where town and street names change quicker than you can say “corruption” – hardly a day goes by without some member of the corrupt, incompetent ANC government trying to play a nasty April Fool’s Day joke on the mindless masses. (Also known as the voatas.)

This is the Minister of Science and Technology, Naledi Pandor’s contribution to this year’s Premature April Fool’s joke: “South Africa is ready to host the Square Kilometre Array (SKA).” 

And if THAT hasn’t made you fall off your chair laughing, she carries on: “Plan A, we’re ready to host the SKA, Plan B we’re ready to host the SKA, Plan C we’re ready.”

Under her watch, as Education Minister (2004 – 2009), Pandor had her April Fool’s joke (in December of that year) when 56 300 matriculants did not get their results due to irregularities. I’ll bet they won’t forget that hilarious prank in a hurry.

No April Fool’s Day would be complete without a contribution from our own Foolious Malema. “I would die in defence of the white minority,” says this famous carpenter. Has anyone explained to him that the “Boer” he wants to shoot in his favourite song, belongs to the white minority that he wants to die for?

A while ago, Malema also wanted to die for Zuma, for the ANCYL, and for various other causes. Besides his death wish, he really has grown up to become a brilliant jester, for one so young. (Is there a word for “jester” in the Pedi dictionary?)

Then there is the stand-up comedian – who also acts as the ANC treasurer general, Mathews Phosa: “The government’s decision to commission a study on Constitutional Court rulings has no hidden agenda.” Eish! Millions of South Africans will be caught out by that Fool’s joke. These guys just get better by the day! 

And how about Justice Minister, Jeff Radebe’s April Fool story: “The ANC government has established an impeccable record of compliance with court rulings.” What? Jeffy, you sure fooled the pee pull with that one, old buddy!

But then Jeffrey has been in the comedy business longer than Bill Cosby. Remember his excellent road show, “Arrive Alive,” in which he played the role of Minister of Transport of sunny Zumania? Road users were dying over it!

Minister of Police, Nathi Mthethwa, had me totally fooled with his masterpiece: “The ANC has never condoned corruption! South Africa will, never be another failed state destroyed by corruption!”

Surely this must be the winner for this year. Give the man a Bells. Sorry, make that a Johnny Blue! The taxpayers will be paying, as usual.

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