PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Irukandji
 
Comments: 78
Article views: 1323
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all Irukandji's badges.
 

Have these Christians no common sense?

22 October 2012, 08:36

(This article was uploaded on the 19th of October 2012)

I’ve just received an e-mail addressed to scores of recipients. In the mail, people are invited to attend a “New Beginning” mass meeting in Rustenburg on the 20th of October.

The message reads: “This affects our entire nation, which includes you. This is no joke, so please start praying and interceding. Attendance is free; but you are expected to pay R100 per seat.”

And of course, the spectacle is hosted by:

Wait for it......

Wait for it......

Waaaaaaait for it......

Yes, you’ve got it! None other than Angus Buchan – your friendly snake-oil farmer.

Old Angus has come to realise that the quickest cash-crop, with the least work, is not potatoes, but cabbage-heads. And the risks are much less:

·         Malema cannot repossess your farm.

·         You won’t become another farm-murder statistic.

·         Rain, drought, and pests cannot destroy your crop.

·         Christians (Angus’ cabbage-heads) are ever so willing to pay good money to hear someone call them “Mighty Men.”

·         And, you don’t have to pay taxes on the profits you squeeze from the cabbages.

But that’s not all!!!

The e-mail goes on, and on, and on...

“Dear *intercessors and prayer partners!

Do not slow down in prayer and intercession! The breakthrough and success of this event rest upon our shoulders!! Prayer is mostly a behind the scene task, but the scene can’t go on without your prayers! Take up new courage and prayer responsibility and let’s **bombard darkness and all resistance with His supernatural power, light and great love!!”

Keep praying for (my comments in italics):

·         Mighty salvation of thousands of people! (Those barbarians who were fired?)

·         Reconciliation between different groups on every level! (Now that is REALLY pushing the envelope to the limit!)

·         Outreaches at hostels of the mines! (The cabbages are actually going INTO the hostels? HKGK!)

·         Call in the **Spirit People of all races to attend and fill that stadium as a rainbow! Call the miners! (Call the miners? I thought they were fired.)

·         Releasing of funds to meet the budget! (What funds? What budget?)

·         Great Unity to increase in body of Christ between all churches & leaders taking hands. (Ha! Has anyone contacted the Pope?)

·         Outpouring of God’s Spirit on Rustenburg, South Africa & the World! (Same thing we do every night, Pinky – try to take over the World!)

·         Peace & protection on all! (Yadda, yadda, yadda.)

Some people are seriously impressed that Angus can order God to let it rain on demand. But let me tell you something: I can do the same!

Here’s my demand: “Tomorrow the 21st of October I demand rain.”

Now – check this out people – tomorrow it WILL rain. Why? Because I DEMAND God to do so.

So, here’s the deal:

Tomorrow as soon as it starts raining, you-all can just deposit R50.00 (half of Angus’ usual fee) into my bank account. I’ll send you an authentic Cabbage-head Certificate to hang on your wall.

PS       Don’t forget your umbrella tomorrow.

*intercessors and prayer partners – suckers and cabbage-heads

**bombard – why do these religious fanatics always want to blow up something?  

***Spirit People – American Indians who worship Wakan Tanka

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
78 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Markrschulz
News from the future!

The South African Rand will finally reach twenty to the Dollar, at which point the Reserve Bank will knock off three zeroes because "it looks better that way"... Read more...

0 comments 0 views
Submitted by
Craig Pedersen
Can policing in SA be fixed? Read...

To my humble mind, here's what needs addressing within the policing/ criminal justice sphere - and no, you can't tackle one without the other, they're symbiotic in every sense.  Read more...

0 comments 7 views
Submitted by
SilverBack
Proof of God vs Faith in Christ...

Science is not inadequate to “prove” God’s existence, Science is inappropriate to do it. Read more...

2 comments 18 views
Submitted by
Voltaire Gee
More Questions for people of Fait...

I know my questions might seem condescending but they're really not, I really need to understand how anyone who lives in the 21st century can subscribe to a set of standards set thousands of years ago. Read more...

0 comments 1 views
Diving into the South African gra...

Government gets money and spends money in the same way an individual does.  Read more...

2 comments 714 views
Submitted by
Douw Snetler
Blue Bulls rugby - Yawn!

Being an ardent Blue Bull supporter, it was with quite a bit of trepidation that I watched the semifinal last Saturday between the Bulls and Western Province. Read more...

2 comments 380 views

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Magical Massinga

Spend 5 nights at the gorgeous Massinga Beach Lodge in Mozambique and only pay for 4 from R13 220 per person sharing. Includes return flights, accommodation, transfers and romantic turndown. Book now!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

Save up to R1000 on Hisense smartphones!

View the large range of Hisense smartphones. Buy today and save up to R1000!

Deal of the week!

Save R1200 on the Samsung 48” smart full HD LED television now only R8799. Buy now!

Toys 4 for the price of 3

Buy 4 toys and get the cheapest FREE! Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

Mind blowing prices – As seen on TV

Get mind blowing prices on 1000’s of products! Shop now.

Save 20% on Nivea beauty products!

Buy any two Nivea beauty products and save 20%. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

Samsung Galaxy s4

Mobile, Cell Phones in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 24

Best bargain in big bay

Real Estate, Houses - Apartments for Sale in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

VW Golf 6, 1.6 Trendline (Excellent condition)

Vehicles, Cars in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2014 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.








Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.