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Having no feelings is worse

13 August 2012, 10:43
Being explosively happy and high-spirited during the high phases can be very addictive. This is when you reach that edge and peek over it just to realize in front of you is an outstretched see of endless possibility. Your walk and talk are motivated by extreme confidence. This is by the way a character trait that most find charming and attractive. You find yourself feeling magnificent, untouchable or even superhuman.

The lavish feelings you have are almost certain to manifest in procuring items you do not need or will not use. Racing thoughts are like electrical impulses. You appreciate these with unmistakeable ease never realising that later they will start to take over your brain like a swarm of locusts never stopping until they are finely gone leaving a deadly aftermath in your mind.

Everything changes like autumn that brings an end to the pleasures of summer. Your confident selfis looking back at you through tainted glass. The superhuman is suddenly super-slow. The focussed,creative thoughts that ran through your mind and courted you with innovative and wonderful scenesare now judgingly pointing fingers. Feelings of worthlessness are governing your heart and you areunable to open it for love or support. People that want to give you the love and care seems likealiens trying to control your mind and make you a lifeless zombie. Death and the dead consume yourthinking abilities. A dark blanket of black energy will be your friend and you have to be content withit or join the dead. The only question that remains is when will you see the edge of light again?

In this turmoil you might be wondering if having no emotions is not the only option left. Researcheshave shown that emotions are a very important to our survival. Without it we might not even reachan age of 70 or 80. This brings me to another phase that is tightly tucked between the highs andlows.

Flat-lining is a term used to describe the period where you have no feelings at all. No high, nolow. Feeling happy or sad or even smiling feels foreign. Some of us even go on explorations intothe deepest darkest parts of our soul in search for some sort of emotion returning only withdisappointment written on our faces.

Personally for me I will rather take the high or the low but will never choose the flat-line. The highsand lows confirm that you are still human although disturbed.

I have decided a long time ago that I’ll rather be mad than not to be at all.
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