So you think I'm talking about money or material things. No, I'm talking about organs. A particular organ of my body has given me considerable pleasure ... but possibly more pain.
It started when I was about 6, running around in front of my moms friends with no clothes on. (Like little boys do, you know ... ) I remember the funny laughs and pointing, they had spotted an organ of mine that was unusually large for my size. My mom had a bragging type of expression on her face.
So I realised by the time I was a teen that I was "hung", and that it was something to be proud of rather than embarrassed. (I wonder how you can be proud of something that you achieved through no effort, just plain genetics?) I suppose some boys have naturally better bodies, bigger brains, whatever, so I guess it was a "small" blessing. (I don't suffer from prettiness though)
Trouble came later in life when the word spread amongst the girls. So I ended up losing my virginity quite early (15 odd), but the disappointment for me was I seemed more a satisfaction of inquisitive minds than someone they wanted to hang out with and have a relationship with. All they wanted was my organ, I was sexually exploited! (I was not gifted with a handsome face or athletic body you see)
All my mates envied me, as I got to do things with most of the prettiest girls at school that they wished they could. But they all ended out going out with the best sportsmen, the guys with the most confidence, the coolest guys. (I also got my head kicked in a few times ... the Jocks are a jealous bunch ...) It just proves that what many consider a great asset, is not worth much on its own, a bigger "package" of assets is required to really be the dude.
Anyway ... I`ve at least come sort of close to Julio with his song "To all the Girls I`ve loved Before", I just need to take out the love bit and change it to "fornicated with." There is quite a difference regardless of what you believe.
For those of you depressed by my story, don't worry, I eventually found true love and marriage. We did not have children - my wife says making love with me is probably similar to giving birth anyway ... I've found beer is probably my greatest pleasure in life anyway. Hey, it could have been worse - imagine living with a micro dis-ting, I think the negatives would be more - so I don't feel that sorry for myself.
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