MyNews24 is a user-generated section of The stories here come from users.

Comments: 24
Article views: 849
Latest Badges:

View all Irukandji's badges.

Herbalists or Charlatans?

19 January 2012, 10:59

A Herbalist is someone who uses natural extracts from plants and herbs to treat physical and mental disorders. A charlatan is a person who pretends, or claims, to have more knowledge or skill than he or she possesses.


(To my black brothers and sisters: Please read the whole of this story before commenting: “This stupid, racist whitey knows nothing of our traditions.” It is not my intention to make fun of legitimate traditional healers.)


I do respect the traditions, rituals, and ceremonies of Sangomas and traditional healers. With the catastrophic state of our hospitals it is probably safer to go to the local traditional healer’s hut; instead of the Chris Hani Baragwanath, or Steve Biko Hospitals.


In the classified ads of one of our daily newspapers, under the heading: “Herbalist” – I came upon some weird and wonderful claims made by these so-called healers. I’d like to share some of them with you.


First, there is a truly amazing herbalist; from Plein Street in Joburg, who sells Enlargement Powder: “Payment only follows once manhood choice size is fully permanently big; it grows in my hands while I am busy.” (Here, I involuntary uttered the old Afrikaans expletive: “Bliksem!”)  The advert continues: “10cm – R750, 17cm – R1000, 21cm – R1600.” Also: “Free delivery.”


This made me wonder: What do you get for R10 000? Do you get a free wheelbarrow with it?


The next advert is from Chief Duwa. This gentleman will not only grow your manhood and tighten virgins; he will also enlarge your assets (which sound excruciatingly painful), and hire short boys to bring you money. Mail orders are accepted and T’s and C’s apply. (So don’t be surprised if you should open your mailbox and find an enlarged THING in there – it was delivered by the short boys!)


Ready for one more? OK, let’s meet Prof Rasol – the “Finisher of Unfinished Financial Problems; Mutti is 100% Same Day Guarantee.” This astonishing man does all the usual miracles – enlargements of manhood and asses, winning at lotto; bring back lost lovers; chimbunga to bring money, etc, etc. But wait! That’s not all!


He will also remove the tokolosh! (Again: “Bliksem!”)


How does he do this? I might be persuaded to believe in the tokolosh, but eviction? No way! Does he provide alternative housing? Who pays for the furniture removal? What about the unions? And Malema? No, this sounds a bit far fetched.


But, after all of this – what is my point?


Just this: I cannot, for the life of me, understand why no one has lodged complaints against these “herbalists.” Either their claims are true; in which case the sales of wheelbarrows will jump off the scale, or people just don’t give an amagundwana’s asset about these charlatans.


The Advertising Complaints Authority (ASA) is the Body that deals with complaints about advertising content. Anyone can lodge a complaint if he or she believes that the content of an advertisement is untruthful, misleading or harmful in any way. The criteria for lodging complaints are simple:


The complaint must be in writing.

The identity of the complainant(s) must be disclosed.

The contact details of the complainant(s) should be clearly stated.

The complainant(s) identity or passport number must be provided.

The grounds on which the complaint is based must be clearly stated.

When the complaint is about print advertising, the relevant advertisement should be attached.

If possible, the contact name, address or telephone / fax number of the advertiser should be provided.


So there you have it; everything you need to lodge a complaint.


But one final warning – and this is serious: If the short boys should rock up at your house one dark, dismal night to repossess your 21cm manhood, or to shrink your enlarged assets, don’t come crying to me! I’m not the one who complained.

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received. publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
Comments have been closed for this article.

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Denis Dendrinos
Sandton and EcoMobility

Everyone is whining and complaining about the current road closures for the roadworks and about the temporary closures for the EcoMobility month in October. Read more...

0 comments 37 views
Submitted by
Thulane Che Trosky637
The ANC's Parliament

There are signs that the ANC is losing its grip on Parliament. Read more...

0 comments 66 views
Submitted by
Thomas Hill Jr.
RWC 2015

My Completely Unqualified Opinion on Upsets and 'Supporter Hypocrisy' Read more...

0 comments 54 views
Submitted by
Andrew Nowell753
The fallacy of leave

While leave might be regarded as a luxury, it is actually a necessity for the wellbeing of any worker. Read more...

0 comments 2344 views
Submitted by
Brent Simons
Every ANC leader must act and be ...

The time to seriously discuss leadership and where we want to take the ANC and South Africa has arrived! Read more...

0 comments 685 views
Submitted by
Antoinette Harrison
My unexpected and shocking visit ...

My trip to South Africa was to visit my younger brother in hospital as he was very ill. Nobody prepared me for the site that would accost me on my arrival. to SA Read more...

0 comments 4398 views


E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on Android Get the latest from News24 on your Android device.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

TV Get us in your home, on your television.

Interactive Advertising Bureau
© 2015 All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.


Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.

Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire network.


Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.

Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.