PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Irukandji
 
Comments: 24
Article views: 808
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all Irukandji's badges.
 

Herbalists or Charlatans?

19 January 2012, 10:59

A Herbalist is someone who uses natural extracts from plants and herbs to treat physical and mental disorders. A charlatan is a person who pretends, or claims, to have more knowledge or skill than he or she possesses.

 

(To my black brothers and sisters: Please read the whole of this story before commenting: “This stupid, racist whitey knows nothing of our traditions.” It is not my intention to make fun of legitimate traditional healers.)

 

I do respect the traditions, rituals, and ceremonies of Sangomas and traditional healers. With the catastrophic state of our hospitals it is probably safer to go to the local traditional healer’s hut; instead of the Chris Hani Baragwanath, or Steve Biko Hospitals.

 

In the classified ads of one of our daily newspapers, under the heading: “Herbalist” – I came upon some weird and wonderful claims made by these so-called healers. I’d like to share some of them with you.

 

First, there is a truly amazing herbalist; from Plein Street in Joburg, who sells Enlargement Powder: “Payment only follows once manhood choice size is fully permanently big; it grows in my hands while I am busy.” (Here, I involuntary uttered the old Afrikaans expletive: “Bliksem!”)  The advert continues: “10cm – R750, 17cm – R1000, 21cm – R1600.” Also: “Free delivery.”

 

This made me wonder: What do you get for R10 000? Do you get a free wheelbarrow with it?

 

The next advert is from Chief Duwa. This gentleman will not only grow your manhood and tighten virgins; he will also enlarge your assets (which sound excruciatingly painful), and hire short boys to bring you money. Mail orders are accepted and T’s and C’s apply. (So don’t be surprised if you should open your mailbox and find an enlarged THING in there – it was delivered by the short boys!)

 

Ready for one more? OK, let’s meet Prof Rasol – the “Finisher of Unfinished Financial Problems; Mutti is 100% Same Day Guarantee.” This astonishing man does all the usual miracles – enlargements of manhood and asses, winning at lotto; bring back lost lovers; chimbunga to bring money, etc, etc. But wait! That’s not all!

 

He will also remove the tokolosh! (Again: “Bliksem!”)

 

How does he do this? I might be persuaded to believe in the tokolosh, but eviction? No way! Does he provide alternative housing? Who pays for the furniture removal? What about the unions? And Malema? No, this sounds a bit far fetched.

 

But, after all of this – what is my point?

 

Just this: I cannot, for the life of me, understand why no one has lodged complaints against these “herbalists.” Either their claims are true; in which case the sales of wheelbarrows will jump off the scale, or people just don’t give an amagundwana’s asset about these charlatans.

 

The Advertising Complaints Authority (ASA) is the Body that deals with complaints about advertising content. Anyone can lodge a complaint if he or she believes that the content of an advertisement is untruthful, misleading or harmful in any way. The criteria for lodging complaints are simple:

 

The complaint must be in writing.

The identity of the complainant(s) must be disclosed.

The contact details of the complainant(s) should be clearly stated.

The complainant(s) identity or passport number must be provided.

The grounds on which the complaint is based must be clearly stated.

When the complaint is about print advertising, the relevant advertisement should be attached.

If possible, the contact name, address or telephone / fax number of the advertiser should be provided.

 

So there you have it; everything you need to lodge a complaint.

 

But one final warning – and this is serious: If the short boys should rock up at your house one dark, dismal night to repossess your 21cm manhood, or to shrink your enlarged assets, don’t come crying to me! I’m not the one who complained.

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
24 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

World War 3. How did we get here...

Hopefully this will help readers to gain some clarity and understanding in the face of screaming headlines that are not reporting the facts, but propaganda in order to justify the drums of war. Read more...

12 comments 1166 views
Submitted by
Terrylin Backpackers
The Girding of One's Loins

I received an e-mail from the Tourism Star Grading Council. I thought this applied to posh places only, but I am obviously powerless to speculate. Read more...

3 comments 420 views
Submitted by
Martin Frank Marriott
The Wyatt Family

The Wyatt Family, ever heard of them? They are one of the most dominant WWE tag teams in wrestling history. Read more...

2 comments 424 views
Submitted by
James Allan DAvis
Fish Oil, Cow's Milk and Red Wine

Woolworths we meet again. A few months ago I brought to your attention the mislabeling of your Omega Brown Rolls with the vegan label yet they contained Fish Oil.  Read more...

18 comments 1028 views
Submitted by
Brian Faul
The curse of street drugs

Words have no meaning in this illness. It is devastating beyond. This past week I have had the task of dealing with TIK or crystal meth drug addicts. Read more...

28 comments 704 views
Submitted by
Charms
Who am I?

I am NOT black. I am NOT white. I am not any other colour. I am NOT English, Afrikaans, Zulu or Xhosa or any other language you would like to attribute to me. Read more...

62 comments 361 views

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Magical Massinga

Spend 5 nights at the gorgeous Massinga Beach Lodge in Mozambique and only pay for 4 from R13 220 per person sharing. Includes return flights, accommodation, transfers and romantic turndown. Book now!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

2 TV Series for R250

Get 2 TV Series box sets for R250 and save up to R148! Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

Mind blowing deals on beauty & fragrances

Save up to 30% off beauty and fragrances. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

Up to 50% off hair care products!

Save up to 50% on professional hair care products at kalahari.com. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

30% off academic books

Score a mind blowing 30% off academic books! Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

Mind blowing deals on electronics!

Save up to 35% on electronics. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

Samsung Galaxy s4

Mobile, Cell Phones in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 24

Best bargain in big bay

Real Estate, Houses - Apartments for Sale in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

VW Golf 6, 1.6 Trendline (Excellent condition)

Vehicles, Cars in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2014 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.








Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.