PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
ThinkingChick
 
Comments: 19
Article views: 276
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all ThinkingChick's badges.
 

Holy Mass and eyebrow crabs

15 June 2012, 08:19
Mass is a biohazard. I don't do the blood of Christ, cos actually, it is booze. Transubstantiation is all well and good, but I ain't putting alcohol in my body.

Then there is the germ factor. I understand that it is alcohol and therefore the germs from hundreds of people will be killed, but hang on- didn't they say it becomes blood? Baffling huh?

The body, well, let's just say I hope to God the priest washes his hands before touching the bits of Christ that stick to the roof of my mouth for about 40 minutes. Fecal matter on my body of Jesus is not too cool a thought- What currently has me worried is the Holy Water, however.

Picture it, we are all there to confess sin. Sin frequently involves the use of hands. Most common sin? Probably wanking. Come on, most of us are guilty of that. Or sex.

Did you know that something like 60% of people don't wash their hands after peeing? If that's the case, how many people don't wash after a quick jerk-off? Disturbing huh?

My head does this thing where I can picture tenacious vaginal fluids or semen, being co-mingled with the holy water on the way in to Mass. We Catholics do the holy water as we go in and go out. What if I get herpes on my forehead, shoulders or chest? Can you get eyebrow crabs?

(Disclaimer: I am an atheist, but did study adult catechism for two years.)

Or does the fact that it is all blessed stuff mean it is entirely germ free and harmless?

More importantly, why did God give me a brain that works like this?
Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
19 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Johan Bekker
Does the ANC deserve South Africa...

This discussion will lead to emotional, irrational, aggressive, and exploding reactions from all corners of the South Africa. Read more...

2 comments 323 views
Submitted by
Jonathan Boyle
The Son of Africa has arrived!

I often think back and wonder what kind of man can go through all that he had gone through, and then turn around and say I forgive you. Read more...

3 comments 236 views
Elias Motsoaledi Municipality Cor...

This is pathetic. Tell us this must be a joke. A mixed bag of incompetence, pure foolishness, sluggish Leadership. Read more...

3 comments 666 views
Submitted by
Lebogwe Mogotji913
The never ending story around the...

The never ending story around the ex-Chief Financial Officer Elias Motsoaledi Local Municipality. Read more...

0 comments 150 views
Submitted by
Hadley Brauns
Problems are Opportunities

I responded to a post about traffic and traffic officials in Cape Town. While typing my post I got the idea of how can we make it better and added that to my reply.  Read more...

0 comments 51 views
Submitted by
PeterTracey
We must do more for the working c...

It has been my observation that there are broadly four main categories of people in South Africa: new money, old money, politically connected individuals and the working class  Read more...

7 comments 461 views
 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on Android Get the latest from News24 on your Android device.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

TV Get us in your home, on your television.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2015 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.




Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.