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stuzaza
 
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Horny Panda

07 July 2014, 19:25
As is often the case with great ideas, the bolt that hit me today came way out of left-field. I maintain the mind is most receptive when pleasantly distracted or somewhat in neutral.

The idea concerns China's seemingly insatiable need for Rhino horn and Africa's need for sustainable protein to feed its masses. Given China's booming population it seems strange that they would need the obviously highly efficacious afrodisiac (sic) in the first place.  However its not for me to judge a culture.

China has long been a hotbed of culinary diversity and coupled with the great gastronomic strides the Mother continent has made over the past few millennia i feel that my idea is of significant importance.

Simply put, China wants horn and Africa needs meat. Further, Africa has a long standing dietary love for rats, cane rats in KZN and "grass-cutter" in west Africa scuttle to mind. Given that, for all in tents and porpoises, the Panda is obviously a giant rat - what i propose is possibly the greatest trade partnership these two great peoples have ever embarked upon.

We Africans should invite another high powered delegation of Chinese to our shores, i am sure they know their way by now, and offer them limitless supplies of horn in exchange for a steady supply of those bamboo destroying murine critters they call a national pride. 

Further in keeping with accepted principles of entente cordial we should initiate customs and rituals to reinforce the sacredness of this Afro-Sino pact by making a great show of shoving said horns firmly up the jacksies of this delegation. The symbolism of this fundamentally fulfilling process should not escape the Chinese, wu i am sure will have tears in their eyes at this gesture, given the scale of our largesse.

I would hope this action will touch hearts and open up a flood of quality Panda meat for our people. The win-win rider to this decree would be the lifting of pressure on the endangered bamboo forests. 

I envisage a day when Panda will be served along side other great African dishes like Smileys, Gatsbys and Curry Bunnies. My personal feeling is Panda would be best served cold, as per the Sicilian method.

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