PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
stuzaza
 
Comments: 7
Article views: 650
 
 
Latest Badges:

 
View all stuzaza's badges.
 

Horny Panda

07 July 2014, 19:25
As is often the case with great ideas, the bolt that hit me today came way out of left-field. I maintain the mind is most receptive when pleasantly distracted or somewhat in neutral.

The idea concerns China's seemingly insatiable need for Rhino horn and Africa's need for sustainable protein to feed its masses. Given China's booming population it seems strange that they would need the obviously highly efficacious afrodisiac (sic) in the first place.  However its not for me to judge a culture.

China has long been a hotbed of culinary diversity and coupled with the great gastronomic strides the Mother continent has made over the past few millennia i feel that my idea is of significant importance.

Simply put, China wants horn and Africa needs meat. Further, Africa has a long standing dietary love for rats, cane rats in KZN and "grass-cutter" in west Africa scuttle to mind. Given that, for all in tents and porpoises, the Panda is obviously a giant rat - what i propose is possibly the greatest trade partnership these two great peoples have ever embarked upon.

We Africans should invite another high powered delegation of Chinese to our shores, i am sure they know their way by now, and offer them limitless supplies of horn in exchange for a steady supply of those bamboo destroying murine critters they call a national pride. 

Further in keeping with accepted principles of entente cordial we should initiate customs and rituals to reinforce the sacredness of this Afro-Sino pact by making a great show of shoving said horns firmly up the jacksies of this delegation. The symbolism of this fundamentally fulfilling process should not escape the Chinese, wu i am sure will have tears in their eyes at this gesture, given the scale of our largesse.

I would hope this action will touch hearts and open up a flood of quality Panda meat for our people. The win-win rider to this decree would be the lifting of pressure on the endangered bamboo forests. 

I envisage a day when Panda will be served along side other great African dishes like Smileys, Gatsbys and Curry Bunnies. My personal feeling is Panda would be best served cold, as per the Sicilian method.

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
7 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Mitta Xinindlu
Congratulations, Trevor Noah

Trevor Noah's not doing the show yet but people are hating on him already.  Read more...

6 comments 1263 views
Submitted by
Harris Vd Merwe
The real reason the Proteas Lost

The last week every cricket supporter is going on about the reason (s) we lost. Political interferences, team selection, etc. As a normal sport lover, I think the following are the reasons we actually lost. Read more...

18 comments 1650 views
Submitted by
fransvisserdsb
If I was the President...

It may not be perfect, but it would be a hell of a lot better than the current shambles. Read more...

31 comments 1164 views
Submitted by
Julian Faasen
How can we drive real change at U...

Despite my positive intentions, friends have noted that I’m in danger of saying things that will result in me being perceived as a racist. Read more...

18 comments 948 views
Submitted by
Kalibanache
Saluting the bloody Aussies for a...

I just think back to our 438 Victory over Australia, That was after they set a world record of runs to chase down.. Read more...

8 comments 1311 views
Submitted by
ThatHumanist
What comes after religion?

God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. How shall we comfort ourselves, the murderers of all murderers?  Read more...

86 comments 1170 views
 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2015 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.




Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.