PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
No.You're a handbag
 
Comments: 75
Article views: 2
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all No.You're a handbag's badges.
 

How to Be A News24 Jackass in 3 Easy Steps

15 August 2012, 10:30

Usually, I post about things that matter to me. The political future of South Africa, our history and related topics. This time, however, I am posting about something that is mostly insignificant – although if you asked them, they’d probably wax lyrical about being a legend in their own lunchtime.

Yes, I am talking about the asshole commenter on News24.

I tend to get a lot of them. Maybe I rub them the wrong way. Maybe they have no social skills, and they still think calling girls the equivalent of poopie heads is flirting. Whatever, these neck bearded (sometimes literally, sometimes figuratively) douche bags, come in all shapes, sizes, ages, genders and colours. Finally. Something non racist and non sexist in the new SA.

But I digress.

The meat and potatoes of this post, as promised, is a three step formula so you too can emulate these shining examples of low brow trolling. Read on, and get started now:

1.       Pick a snappy name

Some of the barrel-bottom-scrapers on News24 have real facebook profiles. Many don’t. Either way, they all take great pains to pick witty (retch), sarcastic (hurl), clever (kinda) user names. Still, roses by any other names and all that. You can polish a turd guys, but it’s still a turd, even if you call it something clever.

2.       Comment about issues unrelated to the original post

I have a lovely crop of commenters that I suspect may even be slightly more intelligent than fungus, who love to comment ad nauseum about my profile picture, my personal life (or their moist little fantasies there of) and a bunch of other stuff that’s completely unrelated to my actual posts.

They think it makes them look clever. Cute.

3.       Rant about how you wasted time reading

Erm. The only person who looks like an idiot if you read a post by someone you know you’re not going to agreed with, and then you don’t agree with them, is you.

Save us all the aggravation, and have your little argument with the mirror. I bet you’re the type of people who love the sound of your voice and your reflection anyway.

So there you have it – three easy steps to being a complete, utter, bona fide, 100%, certified arse on News24.

Of course, the people who this post are aimed at aren’t QUITE clever enough to realize it, so I await your comments.

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
75 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Sharon Hodgson
An Attitude of Gratitude can save...

The grass isn't always greener on the other side. These days it is so easy to fall into the trap of taking everything for granted.  Read more...

4 comments 657 views
Submitted by
Victor
SARS and local municipalities it ...

SARS and local municipalities it is now time to tax Churches. Read more...

356 comments 8813 views
Submitted by
Response: Traditional initiation ...

As a proud citizen of the Western Cape, born and raised on the outskirts of Cape Town, I do not see the need to undergo initiation to become a man. Read more...

0 comments 945 views
Submitted by
Shaun Engel
Comedy on long

Ever wanted to be a comedian? Be on stage and make people laugh…well these guys do it for a living – If laughter is the best medicine after tonight I’m sorted for winter…flu for whaaaaat o_O Read more...

3 comments 188 views
Submitted by
Jaco Prinsloo
Everything converges in September...

There seems to be anticipation around the world that something big is going to happen in September this year. Read more...

74 comments 1176 views
Submitted by
Jacques de Villiers
Initiation school on Table Mounta...

That sounds like a really wonderful idea. Even though the Xhosas were never traditionally in the Western Cape, the reality is that many of them are now and will forever be an integral part of it. Read more...

5 comments 1094 views
 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on Android Get the latest from News24 on your Android device.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

TV Get us in your home, on your television.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2015 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.




Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.