PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
No.You're a handbag
 
Comments: 75
Article views: 30
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all No.You're a handbag's badges.
 

How to Be A News24 Jackass in 3 Easy Steps

15 August 2012, 10:30

Usually, I post about things that matter to me. The political future of South Africa, our history and related topics. This time, however, I am posting about something that is mostly insignificant – although if you asked them, they’d probably wax lyrical about being a legend in their own lunchtime.

Yes, I am talking about the asshole commenter on News24.

I tend to get a lot of them. Maybe I rub them the wrong way. Maybe they have no social skills, and they still think calling girls the equivalent of poopie heads is flirting. Whatever, these neck bearded (sometimes literally, sometimes figuratively) douche bags, come in all shapes, sizes, ages, genders and colours. Finally. Something non racist and non sexist in the new SA.

But I digress.

The meat and potatoes of this post, as promised, is a three step formula so you too can emulate these shining examples of low brow trolling. Read on, and get started now:

1.       Pick a snappy name

Some of the barrel-bottom-scrapers on News24 have real facebook profiles. Many don’t. Either way, they all take great pains to pick witty (retch), sarcastic (hurl), clever (kinda) user names. Still, roses by any other names and all that. You can polish a turd guys, but it’s still a turd, even if you call it something clever.

2.       Comment about issues unrelated to the original post

I have a lovely crop of commenters that I suspect may even be slightly more intelligent than fungus, who love to comment ad nauseum about my profile picture, my personal life (or their moist little fantasies there of) and a bunch of other stuff that’s completely unrelated to my actual posts.

They think it makes them look clever. Cute.

3.       Rant about how you wasted time reading

Erm. The only person who looks like an idiot if you read a post by someone you know you’re not going to agreed with, and then you don’t agree with them, is you.

Save us all the aggravation, and have your little argument with the mirror. I bet you’re the type of people who love the sound of your voice and your reflection anyway.

So there you have it – three easy steps to being a complete, utter, bona fide, 100%, certified arse on News24.

Of course, the people who this post are aimed at aren’t QUITE clever enough to realize it, so I await your comments.

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

 

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
75 comments
Comments have been closed for this article.

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Gabbriel Bakker
BLF exposed!

The ‘Black First Land First’ (BLF) organization has been making for some controversial reading for the past few weeks. They recently picketed outside certain ABSA buildings, demanding that the bank pay back the money received in a government bailout during the dying days of the apartheid era. Read more...

0 comments 3931 views
On Independent Candidates and Sp...

At momentous time, Zimbabweans where whipped into approving the new constitution in 2013. Read more...

0 comments 77 views
Submitted by
Colin Webster452
Mind Sports South Africa (MSSA) n...

I have written much on players receiving Protea Colours over the years.  Read more...

0 comments 573 views
Submitted by
Lisa Marcelle Hold
Arise South Africa

 Read more...

0 comments 342 views
Submitted by
Lee Randall
Indian monopoly capital

So the term White Monopoly Capital was coined by some (presumably themselves lily-white capitalist) British spin doctors. Read more...

0 comments 833 views
Submitted by
Ashwin Smuts
Hell hath no fury like a woman sc...

I'm sure we've all heard the saying, but I never quite understood the extent to which it could extend until recently. Read more...

0 comments 622 views
 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on Android Get the latest from News24 on your Android device.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

TV Get us in your home, on your television.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2017 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.




Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.