One method is to buy petrol in bulk and save it in your garage, bathtub, and various containers around the house. Then, sell it to other motorists every time the price goes up. But this is hazardous, and not what I’m suggesting.
Maybe we should first look at the reasons for the ever increasing price of fuel. Being slightly dof when it comes to gobbledegook, I was unable to decipher the following explanation from one of the newspapers:
“During the northern hemisphere winter, diesel traded at a premium of more than 20% to petrol, but during spring that narrowed and petrol moved above diesel on March 26.”
“The other factor to be borne in mind is that the oil rig count was 1,318 when Baker Hughes US Oil production increased the shortfall in Saudi Arabia due to the sanctions against Iran. So, during the peak northern hemisphere driving season, which lasts until early September, some two million barrels per day of Iranian crude oil has to be sold on the international markets.”
You see? That certainly explains it!
But now, let’s get down to our petrol saving strategy – hereafter referred to as the “PLAN.”
The way you drive affects how often you have to fill up. If you cut your average speed from 120 kph to around 80 kph, you will burn about 25% less petrol. (This works especially well in 60 kph zones.)
Driving smoothly, with as little sudden acceleration or braking as possible, evens out fuel use and improves the efficiency of your car’s engine – a saving of at least 15%. So don’t apply the brakes when taxis swerves in front of you – a slight collision can save petrol. Just make sure that your insurance is paid up.
Lighten the load. Remove that heavy roof rack, bike rack, your golf clubs, mountain climbing gear, crate full of beer, and bowling kit, from the boot. (Kindly ask your obese mother-in-law to vacate the back seat.) The heavier your car is, the more fuel it uses. Eliminating extra weight can easily save you 13% on fuel.
Check the tyre pressure. Correctly aligned wheels, with tyres kept at the correct pressure, will save you a further 17% on that scary fuel bill. (After hitting a pothole, have the alignment checked. Yes, this does mean daily.)
How about a lift club? Even if you share with just two other members, you will save 66% on petrol expenses. (Each paying 33% of the fuel costs.)
For the truly brave, (or seriously psychotic), try using a taxi during the week when going to work. Make sure your medical, insurance, and rent is paid up. Ensure that your last will and testament is in safe hands. Do not wear jewellery, leave your wallet and mobile phone at home, and try to arrange to have a police convoy riding as back-up behind your taxi. (Wear a bullet proof vest and chastity belt, if possible.) If you survive this death defying means of commuting for a month, you could cut your fuel bill by 45%.
Avoid excessive idling. Tests have found that by avoiding excessive idling you can save up to 19% on fuel consumption. It is suggested that if you are stopped for longer than 30 seconds, to shut down the engine. This wreaks havoc on the starter motor; but who cares? We’re trying to save petrol, right?
Make sure your petrol cap fits securely and that it can be locked. With the cost of petrol now on par with the price of Johnny Blue, special precautions have to be taken to secure the contents of the fuel tank. So lock up as securely as your local pub.
Air Cons use power from the engine – so keep it switched off. Driving with the windows open adds to wind resistance – keep them closed at all times. Drink plenty of water and wear light clothes – this prevents heat stroke.
Now let’s see what we’ve got!
Adding up the percentages of savings that we have discussed, you will find that in theory, we can actually save up to 200% on petrol costs!
So here’s the PLAN: First, get yourself good fire insurance coverage. Then, drain the excess fuel (the 200% which you have saved) from your fuel tank every time it gets full. Store the petrol in your garage, bathtub, and various containers around the house. Then, sell it to other …….
Just shoot me!