Don’t you sometimes get annoyed when a company persists in sending advertisements to your email? And then, after you’ve “unsubscribed” (to something to which you’ve never “subscribed”), they launch a fresh attack; and send even more spam.
This happened to me, and I decided: “Enough is enough; If you strike a woman, you rock; An injury to one is an injury to one; If I were a carpenter and you were a lady; No pain, no pain; I didn’t join the struggle to stay poor, etc, etc.”
I was going to get even. I was going to make someone’s *gathare taai!
But that’s not important right now.
The important thing is that I received this annoying email:
Hallo, **Hope you are well.
Cartridges 100% Guaranteed.
We will replace any faulty cartridge at no cost.
We deliver to your doorstep.
(This was followed by pictures and a price list of gazillions of printer cartridges, toner, jetlag, remanufactured ink, stuff, laser guns, and contraband – or something to that effect.)
So I placed an order by return mail:
Please send the following to our offices in Menlyn:
(Here I inserted a list of the things I wanted delivered – the total cost of the goods came to around R90 000.)
Then, having baited the email hook, I cast my cyber fishing line … and waited.
A bite! I quickly reeled in the email, and released it from the hook. It read:
“Can you please send me your Company Info and Contact Details for the Invoice & delivery purpose?”
To which I replied: “We are in the printing business. Our offices in Menlyn are on the third floor as you come out of the lift, on the left-hand side. Please make the delivery as soon as possible. We have run out of stock and urgently need these items.”
My return email-bait had hardly hit the cyber water, when I received this reply:
“Hallo. Sorry; but there is no Business name on your email, no contact details and Menlyn has a few lifts….so I still don’t know exactly where you are or which Company it is.”
This fish has struggled enough; I threw it back into the Cyber Lake:
It would seem as if you are incapable, reluctant, unable, or unwilling, to deliver our order for the printer cartridges, toner, and office supplies – which we urgently needed. We now have no other option but to cancel this order and shall NOT be doing business with you in future.
We fail to understand how your company can advertise products which you cannot deliver.
We shall tell our customers to avoid ordering from you as well.
Please do not contact us again.”
And they haven’t!!!
*gathare taai – from Latin: ut cruciarentur, meaning: to torment
**Hope – my name is not even “Hope”
***Irukandji – not my actual, authentic, bona fide, true, real birth-certificate name
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